I think of this quote I read in "Calvin and Hobbes" every time I see one of the cats laying in the sun. Yeah we keep the AC on in the house cause its 97degrees outside but its not SNOWING in our house. Sheesh.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
"All that fur is strictly Ornamental"
I think of this quote I read in "Calvin and Hobbes" every time I see one of the cats laying in the sun. Yeah we keep the AC on in the house cause its 97degrees outside but its not SNOWING in our house. Sheesh.
A few things to consider.
Over the past year and half I have learned some very important things that I shouldve done before I got pregnant and had Calvin. Heres my list:
1) Cherish the new things you bought.
*This includes that new T-Shirt that cost you more then 7 bucks and still has that "I dont have a kid that pulls/spits up/uses it as a tissue" crispness to it. Once you have a kid, all your stuff belongs to them. That new T-shirt will only be new from the time you pull it over the baby front butt while walking from the pile of clothes on the floor to the screaming kids bedroom. Once there you will find that the kid has either boogers running down their face from crying so hard cause you didnt get them the second they started squawking or the kid will be covered in poo. Those bodily fluids will then become a permanent fixture on that "new" shirt you HAD on. At that one time. For 3.5 seconds.
2) Have a high maintenance hair style.
*One that requires more then a quick run through the shower early in the morning. One where you remember to actually RINSE out the shampoo and say "hey I think Ill give conditioner a try today too!". Try a new hair style that requires the use of products and a blow dryer along with a straightner, curling iron and a small comb to tease. Right after Calvin I gave in and got the "mom hair". Short and simple and now I just use shampoo (on a GOOD day) and let it air dry where I then pull it up into a bun/pony tail that was popular when I first started highschool. 15yrs ago. Thats a MILF right there let me tell you.
3)Wear trendy makeup. Or any make up at all.
*I would so have raided the Mac counter EVERY SINGLE season if I wouldve known to. That new peacock look they are sporting this season? IM SO THERE!! 15 eyeshadows and 3 different eyeliners at once? Sign me up! Moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder and photo finish dusting? I HAVE A HOUR SURE!! Now, after that 3 second shower that I sometimes forgot to use soap in, Im lucky if I have time to put on Mascara. The other day I noticed I had a wrinkle on my forehead. Great, like I have time to add something else to the list of things I should be tending too: Find a wrinkle filler that can also double as a acne fighter. Cause yes, I have BOTH now. Lucky me.
4)Be late to work a few times a month.
* I learned this AFTER I had Calvin. I say this because I was let go at my job under the pretenses that I "no longer had my head in the game". This being said, just be lazy off the bat like the rest of your coworkers. Show up later then most. Instead of being the 1st late person, be the 3rd! This way when you do have a kid and youre late cause you know, your nursing another life, or tending to another helpless life or dreaming of a DIFFERENT life (one that involved sleep and proper grooming habits). You can work on that extensive hairstyle and makeup routine you have going on if that gives you the edge to be late. No one will be surprised how your numbers have fallen and you wont be let go. Even though you did twice as much work as the next person. Who was there for more then 10 yrs but still sat there with a blank look while you tried to explain for the 7th time that day how to ctrl+T to open a new tab. In IE.
5) Be lazy. This can also go hand in hand with #4.
*Its Saturday! Yay a break from the work week where you have no obligations but maybe to figure out if youd like to go back to that dream about being a millionaire and living on some beach (PRE-oil spill) or getting up to go downstairs and catch up on all that DVR crap you have while dozing off till noon still in your pjs. Right now weekdays flow into weekends. The only difference for me is that I have one less kid on the weekends cause "Day care de Erin" is closed. You dont want to shower? AWESOME, dont! Because you choose not to shower, not cause you dont have time. You dont want to brush your teeth? Well, on second thought, please brush your teeth if thats the only thing you do that day. You cant do much for stinky poo breath.
6) Take long lunches. Again, can go hand in hand with #4 and #5.
*You have a hour for lunch? Awesome! Take a hour and half. Get out for a drive with the music blaring. Go stroll at the mall sans a stroller, diaper bag and the retracing of steps to look for that shoe the kid magically pried off his foot and then probably tossed out in the parking lot BEFORE you got into the mall. I love working from home but I dont really get much of a lunch break. My day is from 7am to 8pm 7 days a week. Where I love it and am happy I can be lucky enough to stay at home and have my own business I do sometimes miss the trips to the bookstore or naps in my car Id take when I had that bend over job. SOMETIMES. Most of the time Im just really REALLY happy I dont have that Bend. Over. Job.
7) Take random naps.
*I love peoples advice when I was pregnant "Sleep now cause once the baby comes you will miss it". NO SHIT!! If I hear a person say that to a pregnant mom Im gonna beat them with my two ton diaper bag. How about instead of saying that opt to give the expectant mom a coupon book full of "this is good for one nap, I will come over and watch your kid so you can take a nap". Be sure its a thick coupon book too and thats its available for ANY TIME. Like at 3am and then again at 5am. THATS what I wouldve loved to have at my shower. A bunch of coupon books for sleep. Id be using one right now if I could. So before a kid, take a nap. Do it now. I dont care if youre at your desk or driving a cab. This way when youre up at 3am and you get into that delirious giddy/crying mood you can daydream back to when you used to nap.
8)Read more.
*And not just internet reading. Digg.com and mommy blogs aside, get to the store/library and read a actual book. I dont care if its the entire series of "The babysitters Club". Right now I have time to browse other moms blogs who in turn have time to write in one sentence blurbs on twitter "Im SO TIRED!!".
9) Marvel at how thin you are RIGHT NOW!
*Every day you wake up and think "Man I could be a lot thinner or toner" am I right? Yeah well go up to the mirror right this second and look at how even though you think your tummy jiggles now, it doesnt jiggle half as much as it will once you pop out your beloved. I look at older photos of myself and think about how even at the time those were taken I thought I looked like crap. Well, those dont hold a candle to how I look now! Ahhh the fruits of my labor....
10) Build a "More then 4 beers tolerance"
*I cant drink more then 2 beers before I start to "feel" it and become all buzzed. Seriously, I was at the Reds game a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and I had two beers before I was out! I mean, I used to be able to do pretty good with my "drink of choice". Now, man now I can just smell a beer (light beer at that!) and be all "wheeee is that a moms gone wild van ahead?" (I kid, Im way past that stage). So I say go out and try all kinds of yummy drinks. Be the one that can hold her own! Right now Im lucky if I can hold a wine glass after half a glass.
11) Print up photos.
*It took me 15 yrs to frame a family photo of My mom, dad, brother and I. Not because I didnt want to but because I either forgot to, couldnt find the photos or didnt have any printed up. We have TONS of photos taken of family over the past 10 yrs that we havent printed up. They sit on one of the millions of computers we have in the house or tucked away on some portable hard drive. I went parasailing one year with the hubby in Panama city FL. Does anyone know this? No. Do I remember this? NO! I need to locate them and print them up. Calvin needs to be able to see photos of family and friends right? No! Mommy needs a friggin nap.
12) Listen to R-Rated music.
*You know that new Eminem Album that came out? Well, listen to it at the gym buddy cause thats the only time youll feel comfortable listening to it. In the car I feel kinda guilty for listening to "f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid" in the car with your 1 yr old in tow. You think "man shouldnt I be listening to wiggles or something that has ABC's in it?". You know eventually he will be listening to way worse then this in 14yrs but you think his first word should be "mommy" and not "bitch".
Once youve completed this list then you and your Significant other (or sperm bank book) can try the fun (tedious)task of trying to conceive a new life that will bring you nothing but love and joy. To be honest with you though, I dont really miss all of that stuff. I love Calvin way more then I love sleep.
MOST of the time...
1) Cherish the new things you bought.
*This includes that new T-Shirt that cost you more then 7 bucks and still has that "I dont have a kid that pulls/spits up/uses it as a tissue" crispness to it. Once you have a kid, all your stuff belongs to them. That new T-shirt will only be new from the time you pull it over the baby front butt while walking from the pile of clothes on the floor to the screaming kids bedroom. Once there you will find that the kid has either boogers running down their face from crying so hard cause you didnt get them the second they started squawking or the kid will be covered in poo. Those bodily fluids will then become a permanent fixture on that "new" shirt you HAD on. At that one time. For 3.5 seconds.
2) Have a high maintenance hair style.
*One that requires more then a quick run through the shower early in the morning. One where you remember to actually RINSE out the shampoo and say "hey I think Ill give conditioner a try today too!". Try a new hair style that requires the use of products and a blow dryer along with a straightner, curling iron and a small comb to tease. Right after Calvin I gave in and got the "mom hair". Short and simple and now I just use shampoo (on a GOOD day) and let it air dry where I then pull it up into a bun/pony tail that was popular when I first started highschool. 15yrs ago. Thats a MILF right there let me tell you.
3)Wear trendy makeup. Or any make up at all.
*I would so have raided the Mac counter EVERY SINGLE season if I wouldve known to. That new peacock look they are sporting this season? IM SO THERE!! 15 eyeshadows and 3 different eyeliners at once? Sign me up! Moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder and photo finish dusting? I HAVE A HOUR SURE!! Now, after that 3 second shower that I sometimes forgot to use soap in, Im lucky if I have time to put on Mascara. The other day I noticed I had a wrinkle on my forehead. Great, like I have time to add something else to the list of things I should be tending too: Find a wrinkle filler that can also double as a acne fighter. Cause yes, I have BOTH now. Lucky me.
4)Be late to work a few times a month.
* I learned this AFTER I had Calvin. I say this because I was let go at my job under the pretenses that I "no longer had my head in the game". This being said, just be lazy off the bat like the rest of your coworkers. Show up later then most. Instead of being the 1st late person, be the 3rd! This way when you do have a kid and youre late cause you know, your nursing another life, or tending to another helpless life or dreaming of a DIFFERENT life (one that involved sleep and proper grooming habits). You can work on that extensive hairstyle and makeup routine you have going on if that gives you the edge to be late. No one will be surprised how your numbers have fallen and you wont be let go. Even though you did twice as much work as the next person. Who was there for more then 10 yrs but still sat there with a blank look while you tried to explain for the 7th time that day how to ctrl+T to open a new tab. In IE.
5) Be lazy. This can also go hand in hand with #4.
*Its Saturday! Yay a break from the work week where you have no obligations but maybe to figure out if youd like to go back to that dream about being a millionaire and living on some beach (PRE-oil spill) or getting up to go downstairs and catch up on all that DVR crap you have while dozing off till noon still in your pjs. Right now weekdays flow into weekends. The only difference for me is that I have one less kid on the weekends cause "Day care de Erin" is closed. You dont want to shower? AWESOME, dont! Because you choose not to shower, not cause you dont have time. You dont want to brush your teeth? Well, on second thought, please brush your teeth if thats the only thing you do that day. You cant do much for stinky poo breath.
6) Take long lunches. Again, can go hand in hand with #4 and #5.
*You have a hour for lunch? Awesome! Take a hour and half. Get out for a drive with the music blaring. Go stroll at the mall sans a stroller, diaper bag and the retracing of steps to look for that shoe the kid magically pried off his foot and then probably tossed out in the parking lot BEFORE you got into the mall. I love working from home but I dont really get much of a lunch break. My day is from 7am to 8pm 7 days a week. Where I love it and am happy I can be lucky enough to stay at home and have my own business I do sometimes miss the trips to the bookstore or naps in my car Id take when I had that bend over job. SOMETIMES. Most of the time Im just really REALLY happy I dont have that Bend. Over. Job.
7) Take random naps.
*I love peoples advice when I was pregnant "Sleep now cause once the baby comes you will miss it". NO SHIT!! If I hear a person say that to a pregnant mom Im gonna beat them with my two ton diaper bag. How about instead of saying that opt to give the expectant mom a coupon book full of "this is good for one nap, I will come over and watch your kid so you can take a nap". Be sure its a thick coupon book too and thats its available for ANY TIME. Like at 3am and then again at 5am. THATS what I wouldve loved to have at my shower. A bunch of coupon books for sleep. Id be using one right now if I could. So before a kid, take a nap. Do it now. I dont care if youre at your desk or driving a cab. This way when youre up at 3am and you get into that delirious giddy/crying mood you can daydream back to when you used to nap.
8)Read more.
*And not just internet reading. Digg.com and mommy blogs aside, get to the store/library and read a actual book. I dont care if its the entire series of "The babysitters Club". Right now I have time to browse other moms blogs who in turn have time to write in one sentence blurbs on twitter "Im SO TIRED!!".
9) Marvel at how thin you are RIGHT NOW!
*Every day you wake up and think "Man I could be a lot thinner or toner" am I right? Yeah well go up to the mirror right this second and look at how even though you think your tummy jiggles now, it doesnt jiggle half as much as it will once you pop out your beloved. I look at older photos of myself and think about how even at the time those were taken I thought I looked like crap. Well, those dont hold a candle to how I look now! Ahhh the fruits of my labor....
10) Build a "More then 4 beers tolerance"
*I cant drink more then 2 beers before I start to "feel" it and become all buzzed. Seriously, I was at the Reds game a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and I had two beers before I was out! I mean, I used to be able to do pretty good with my "drink of choice". Now, man now I can just smell a beer (light beer at that!) and be all "wheeee is that a moms gone wild van ahead?" (I kid, Im way past that stage). So I say go out and try all kinds of yummy drinks. Be the one that can hold her own! Right now Im lucky if I can hold a wine glass after half a glass.
11) Print up photos.
*It took me 15 yrs to frame a family photo of My mom, dad, brother and I. Not because I didnt want to but because I either forgot to, couldnt find the photos or didnt have any printed up. We have TONS of photos taken of family over the past 10 yrs that we havent printed up. They sit on one of the millions of computers we have in the house or tucked away on some portable hard drive. I went parasailing one year with the hubby in Panama city FL. Does anyone know this? No. Do I remember this? NO! I need to locate them and print them up. Calvin needs to be able to see photos of family and friends right? No! Mommy needs a friggin nap.
12) Listen to R-Rated music.
*You know that new Eminem Album that came out? Well, listen to it at the gym buddy cause thats the only time youll feel comfortable listening to it. In the car I feel kinda guilty for listening to "f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid" in the car with your 1 yr old in tow. You think "man shouldnt I be listening to wiggles or something that has ABC's in it?". You know eventually he will be listening to way worse then this in 14yrs but you think his first word should be "mommy" and not "bitch".
Once youve completed this list then you and your Significant other (or sperm bank book) can try the fun (tedious)task of trying to conceive a new life that will bring you nothing but love and joy. To be honest with you though, I dont really miss all of that stuff. I love Calvin way more then I love sleep.
MOST of the time...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Bye bye bottle.
Over the past month and half I had been slowly weaning Calvin off the bottle. I started with getting rid of his lunch time bottle and then moving to dinner. That lasted a good 3 weeks. I wanted to wait till after his trip home (more on the trip soon)for his 1st birthday to get rid of the morning one and the evening one. I was hoping by this time he would be pretty used to the sippy cups and the transistion wouldnt be so painful. I didnt want Calvin to be that kid. The kid whos mouth was still plastered to the bottle, the kid whos old enough to speak (or grunt, point, whine...)and/or GO TO COLLEGE. You see those kids. The ones who are 2 or 3 and throw fits if they dont get their bottle. You also know that you secretly judge too.
You: "Wow, Allison really likes her bottles huh?" (All while thinking Really? Shouldnt a 3yr old be helping with dishes and not wanting to tell you she needs to be on level 7 flow nipples?)
Allisons Mom: "Yeah, well, shes just REALLY attached and we cant bare to see her cry for it"
You:"Yeah I know, I heard it can be difficult for some children to wean. I mean my 3 yr old son still likes sponge bob!" Chuckle Chuckle
Allisons Mom; "We keep saying we need to do it this weekend but then we get busy and its just easier to give her a bottle"
You:"Yeah we just did it over a period of time. It was difficult at first but after a bit he got the hang of it and right after he was one he was all done (a small twinge of smugness.) We didnt want him to have his own apartment BEFORE he gave up the bottle."
Allisons Mom:"Yeah, she will tell us when shes ready..."
You: (Thinking now Allisons mom still probably nurses her 13yr old son too) "Yeah, eventually she will be right there with the rest of her peers...."(OR she can just trade up the formula shes probably still on for beer once she hits college!)
Allisons Mom:"Well shes really advanced in picture books, the doctor thinks she could be a educator!(Drinks more wine)
You: (Drinks more wine)"Yup, its good to tell her she can be whatever she wants to be when she gets older!" (All while thinking, as long as she wants to live in her childhood bedroom till shes 35....)
Both: SMILE, show all clenched teeth and SMILE
So with all that being said, we have successfully weaned the kid off the bottle. Ok, not SUCCESSFULLY yet. He still stands at the dishwasher all while whining "Bo..BO!" and giving me this sad little "why do you hate me" look that makes me want to dig up the bottles and throw them on the floor and say "Here you go kid, roll around in them, kiss them, dance around them for all I care". But I care more about how my parenting looks to the other Judges (moms) then if Calvin is mentally distraught. Thats a lie. I care about his development, his teeth and his independence. Even if that means hes no longer a baby. Even if that means I cried as I put the bottles in a box.
Tomorrow a lady is coming to pick them up to give to her cousin. I put a add on Craigslist for someone to come and get them. This is it kiddo, you can no longer plead your case, they will be long gone.
That is until his college years. Then he will see A LOT of bottles. A lot of awful smelling couches too, Im sure.
You: "Wow, Allison really likes her bottles huh?" (All while thinking Really? Shouldnt a 3yr old be helping with dishes and not wanting to tell you she needs to be on level 7 flow nipples?)
Allisons Mom: "Yeah, well, shes just REALLY attached and we cant bare to see her cry for it"
You:"Yeah I know, I heard it can be difficult for some children to wean. I mean my 3 yr old son still likes sponge bob!" Chuckle Chuckle
Allisons Mom; "We keep saying we need to do it this weekend but then we get busy and its just easier to give her a bottle"
You:"Yeah we just did it over a period of time. It was difficult at first but after a bit he got the hang of it and right after he was one he was all done (a small twinge of smugness.) We didnt want him to have his own apartment BEFORE he gave up the bottle."
Allisons Mom:"Yeah, she will tell us when shes ready..."
You: (Thinking now Allisons mom still probably nurses her 13yr old son too) "Yeah, eventually she will be right there with the rest of her peers...."(OR she can just trade up the formula shes probably still on for beer once she hits college!)
Allisons Mom:"Well shes really advanced in picture books, the doctor thinks she could be a educator!(Drinks more wine)
You: (Drinks more wine)"Yup, its good to tell her she can be whatever she wants to be when she gets older!" (All while thinking, as long as she wants to live in her childhood bedroom till shes 35....)
Both: SMILE, show all clenched teeth and SMILE
So with all that being said, we have successfully weaned the kid off the bottle. Ok, not SUCCESSFULLY yet. He still stands at the dishwasher all while whining "Bo..BO!" and giving me this sad little "why do you hate me" look that makes me want to dig up the bottles and throw them on the floor and say "Here you go kid, roll around in them, kiss them, dance around them for all I care". But I care more about how my parenting looks to the other Judges (moms) then if Calvin is mentally distraught. Thats a lie. I care about his development, his teeth and his independence. Even if that means hes no longer a baby. Even if that means I cried as I put the bottles in a box.
Tomorrow a lady is coming to pick them up to give to her cousin. I put a add on Craigslist for someone to come and get them. This is it kiddo, you can no longer plead your case, they will be long gone.
That is until his college years. Then he will see A LOT of bottles. A lot of awful smelling couches too, Im sure.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Curse of the Audi.
We are a family of foreign car owners. Ive had two Audi's, a Mazda and a Nissan. Mike has had two BMWs and shared in the copulation of my Audi's, Mazda and Nissan. Its not like we arent for America or anything. We really are, we've even owned a few [redneck] firebirds and camaros! America is beautiful and one day we would love to live in Canada. This being said, most of the time these foreign cars that we have so blindly purchased have sucked. Mostly my Audi's. Its like Germany wanted to play a cruel joke that they "knew nothing about" on an American and that American was me. They secretly made my cars foreign spys and Im sure the hidden cameras have hours of footage of me yelling and swearing and then probably picking my nose. My Audis were like that beautiful Russian spy they just caught. All pretty and innocent with long flowing hair and with enough cleavage to distract you from that, oh wait what was I just talking about.....
Anyways, yes my Audis blew. It all started with a nice Audi A4. A 4 door practical vehicle with just enough pretty to satisfy my "look at me" facade while driving back and forth to a job that blew a little worse then my car. It was blue and shiny and had nice assets. Till winter when I (the former Buffalonian!) drove it into a ditch about 50 feet from my bend over job. Then I screwed up the front end and I had a nice little story that I was the butt end of at work. "Hey Erin, the lady from BUFFALO, remember when you drove your car into a ditch? Hahahaha well you better be going now cause someone sneezed and it looks like snow on the ground!" Yeah,well, HA HA HA! Hope all of you bastards are enjoying STILL HAVING TO WORK AT BLOW ME CENTRAL. HA HA.
God my old job sucked.
Well eventually we traded that Audi in for, you guessed it, ANOTHER Audi. This time a cute little 2 door sports car.
Yeah isnt it just Darling up there on a tow truck? Uh huh it sure is! The 4 yrs we owned it (I call it "it" because I firmly believe it was cursed and would figure out ways to piss me off by breaking and bleeding us dry)was hell. The first week we had it, we drove it up to Buffalo to visit family and on the way back some oil think broke and cost us my first born (her name was Angela and I wonder what she is up to nowadays...). We fixed it and ever since then its been one bend over after another (kinda like my old job! Huh. Those two should've hooked up and could've had a brainstorming session on how to screw me over more). We knew we needed to sell it but really didn't have much of a push. Then tada! I got all pregnant and stuff and we really had to sell it (more like panic). 2 years later and with a 1yr old now, we still had the stupid bitch. At this point, after putting thousands of dollars into it, I was convinced that it would be Calvin's first car. It hogged my spot in the garage and every time I went out there I would whisper "I hate you" and I swear it would spit at me!
Who would want a angry car that spat at you? Its like owning a monkey that throws its crap at you. Kinda cute until you're the one getting hit with the crap and then having to clean it up. NO ONE WANTS A CRAP THROWING MONKEY. And no one wanted the TT.
Until some nice man came along and bought it for his 16 yr old son. By now though the entire car is all nice and fixed and pretty and wont break until the 16yr old wraps it around a tree.
I will never own another Audi unless that is, we are millionaires and money is like rain to us. This way we can afford all the bull that comes with owning one instead of daydreaming what it would be like to drive the car off the hill in our neighborhood. Ive actually had this daydream MORE then once. I would imagine it shooting off the hill in a fireball as I fired M16 bullets that I somehow obtained from the gun store down the street. All while maniacally screaming and with beads of sweat falling down my face.
I bet I could get a movie deal out of this....
Anyways, yes my Audis blew. It all started with a nice Audi A4. A 4 door practical vehicle with just enough pretty to satisfy my "look at me" facade while driving back and forth to a job that blew a little worse then my car. It was blue and shiny and had nice assets. Till winter when I (the former Buffalonian!) drove it into a ditch about 50 feet from my bend over job. Then I screwed up the front end and I had a nice little story that I was the butt end of at work. "Hey Erin, the lady from BUFFALO, remember when you drove your car into a ditch? Hahahaha well you better be going now cause someone sneezed and it looks like snow on the ground!" Yeah,well, HA HA HA! Hope all of you bastards are enjoying STILL HAVING TO WORK AT BLOW ME CENTRAL. HA HA.
God my old job sucked.
Well eventually we traded that Audi in for, you guessed it, ANOTHER Audi. This time a cute little 2 door sports car.
Yeah isnt it just Darling up there on a tow truck? Uh huh it sure is! The 4 yrs we owned it (I call it "it" because I firmly believe it was cursed and would figure out ways to piss me off by breaking and bleeding us dry)was hell. The first week we had it, we drove it up to Buffalo to visit family and on the way back some oil think broke and cost us my first born (her name was Angela and I wonder what she is up to nowadays...). We fixed it and ever since then its been one bend over after another (kinda like my old job! Huh. Those two should've hooked up and could've had a brainstorming session on how to screw me over more). We knew we needed to sell it but really didn't have much of a push. Then tada! I got all pregnant and stuff and we really had to sell it (more like panic). 2 years later and with a 1yr old now, we still had the stupid bitch. At this point, after putting thousands of dollars into it, I was convinced that it would be Calvin's first car. It hogged my spot in the garage and every time I went out there I would whisper "I hate you" and I swear it would spit at me!
Who would want a angry car that spat at you? Its like owning a monkey that throws its crap at you. Kinda cute until you're the one getting hit with the crap and then having to clean it up. NO ONE WANTS A CRAP THROWING MONKEY. And no one wanted the TT.
Until some nice man came along and bought it for his 16 yr old son. By now though the entire car is all nice and fixed and pretty and wont break until the 16yr old wraps it around a tree.
I will never own another Audi unless that is, we are millionaires and money is like rain to us. This way we can afford all the bull that comes with owning one instead of daydreaming what it would be like to drive the car off the hill in our neighborhood. Ive actually had this daydream MORE then once. I would imagine it shooting off the hill in a fireball as I fired M16 bullets that I somehow obtained from the gun store down the street. All while maniacally screaming and with beads of sweat falling down my face.
I bet I could get a movie deal out of this....
Friday, July 9, 2010
My niece
When we went home for Calvins 1st Birthday I had to shoot over to my brothers to see my niece and nephew. Like rightthatsecond! McKenzie is 16 months already and is absolutely beautiful. Those bubble gym eyes are amazing and I cant get over what a mix of my brother and sister in-law she is. I can honestly say Ive never seen a little girl more beautiful then my niece. My brother is screwed.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Summer memories.
Now that I have Calvin every once and a while I will get a flashback to when I was a child. Like the smell of watermelon reminds me of when my mother would always have that cut up in the fridge for us to have. Or when I lift Calvin out of his car seat when at the park. I remember mom taking me to the park. I feel like my life has come full circle. Ive always missed my mom, always looked for her in others and now see the parts of her that come out in me. I wonder, did she look at me and my brother the way I look at Calvin? Did she have this overwhelming drive to try and be a decent mom because she was a role model for others? Did her heart feel like it would explode into a million pieces every time one of us kids gave her a kiss? Id like to think those answers are yes. I picked losson park in NY for Calvin's first bday. We had my birthdays there a lot when I was a kid and I vividly remember this one time driving with her to that park and looking up at the sky to see a butterfly shaped cloud. I have amazing summer memories (and everyday memories) with my mother. Hope Calvin can one day say he has the same.
Some mushy advice:
Make memories because you never know when that memory can mean the world to the person you share it with.
Some mushy advice:
Make memories because you never know when that memory can mean the world to the person you share it with.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Skip right to hell.
Im a firm believer that Ohio is A FIRERY PIT OF HELL. We didnt have a spring, went right from winter to blazing inferno. Its muggy and hot and my fake tan feels like its going to melt off of me. YAY for summer though! I wait all year for it to get here so I can find excuses to go outside other then to shop. This year is even more awesome as now I have Calvin to take places like the zoo and swimming. Dont even remind me of last summer where I was pregnant and hot and huge and cranky and did I mention, CRANKY! Now Im just hot. A little cranky sometimes too but I chalk that up to left over hormones hahaha.
Its not so bad though, Id rather have this hot then live back home in Buffalo with the winters. We will never move back home. I couldnt take the 9 months of snow. You laugh but Im being for real. Sorry Buffalo, I hate to say this, but Ohio grew on me.
Even if it is the Fire pit of Hell.
Its not so bad though, Id rather have this hot then live back home in Buffalo with the winters. We will never move back home. I couldnt take the 9 months of snow. You laugh but Im being for real. Sorry Buffalo, I hate to say this, but Ohio grew on me.
Even if it is the Fire pit of Hell.
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