Mike and I made it to our 10 year wedding anniversary on Wednesday the 28th. A pretty good accomplishment for two people who arent even 30 yet. Of course we have been through pretty much every crappie thing a married couple can be through but I chalk that up to a lot of stupid stuff young people do. Mike and I love each other very much but always say that no one should get married till they are 25 years old and above. This way you get all your selfish party "Im an adult and I can do what I want and who cares that youre in a relationship with me" ways. By that age you should be somewhat accomplished in your life and figure out who you are and what you want from your life. Mike and I are there too, but we kinda grew up with each other and then got there. Now we are on the same page with everything pretty much. We both want one kid, want to one day move home but know that may not happen and maybe want to move some where coastal (we really like the water) in a few years, want our son to have a good life, want to be relaxed and drama free and rely on each other as we have been doing for so long.
It wasnt always this way though. We toyed awhile with even having a child. Especially since we live far from family and knew that it may be kinda selfish to have a child and not have their family around for them to know. Also, we have no help with family being away so that was a big thing. Being financially secure was a plus as Mike was still in the military and we lived in a small base house when we really considered what life would be like with a child. So we wanted to be sure we could afford a kid even though no one can ever afford a kid. Or themselves most of the time. Mike and I also wanted to be secure with each other. We didnt want to bring a child into this world and then rip his heart out with a divorce. With all the crap you go through in any relationship, unlike the movies, its not always roses. Theres a lot of dust and bugs and piles of crap along the way that either make you break you. For us, it made us stronger I think.
Mike is my foundation, walls and roof. I honestly dont know how my life would be with out him. Not because hes the main bread winner but because he really is my other half. We both have so much in common now and like to do the same things (as well as do things separately) that everything seems to flow smoothly. Im pretty sure he feels the same way too. I trust him 100% and he bends over backwards to make sure Calvin has everything he needs and that I can stay home and not put Calvin in a cruddy daycare (not knocking it for those who have to but I dont want to have to do that). Mike is a strong man with whom I always feel safe with and I know will defend me to the death. Hes an amazing father who loves his son and took to him like neither of us expected. Mike supports me and gives me piece of mind and always reassures the fact that Im being a good wife and mother.
I find now that I worry more about his safety then if hes going to find another women. If he does find another women then she better know how to clean and if so then I dont mind handing him over to her once and awhile. I kid, I kid. She better know how to cook too.
Mikes in Vegas for the next 5 days for some computer hacker convention thats supposed to be the biggest one they have all year. Hence the big deal in Vegas. Last year he couldnt go because I just spent 9 months gestating our son and then another 24hrs to push the almost full grown kid out. This year our big 10yr anniversary was the day before the Vegas fun times was going to begin. He really didnt push to go and I didnt think much of it. We thought money wise we wouldnt be able to swing it too so it was out of the question really. Then Mike was telling me about how all his buddies and coworkers were going and then it hit me. This may be the only chance he gets to go with so many people for such a good time. Ive been telling him for a bit to get his brother and cousin together and go to Vegas but they are busy with their own lives in NY and who knows if that would ever happen. So as I was talking to him on gmail chat, 'cause thats how married we are-we use gmail chat to talk about big things, I told him if we could swing it then he needs to go. A few minutes later his ticket was booked and he was a happy camper. I told him that could be my big anniversary gift to him. I already went two years ago for a girls weekend so it was high time he went for his "Bros" weekend. He deserves a weekend with the guys playing and drinking and experiencing Vegas. The only stipulation was he had to try and be safe. No getting into fights or getting mugged. The plane had to take off and land without a incident and Id be perfectly calm. Also stories. He always ends up having the best stories. Even if its a night out with his buds at a local strip club he comes home with the best stories. So I figured its Vegas, he should have some awesome ones! I was excited for him and it made me remember the parts of Vegas I could remember too. I know he will have a blast.
After 10yrs of putting up with me he deserved some time in a different time zone on a vacation that didnt consist of schedules around a nap time. Mike and I really never took vacations (which is beyond us because now that we have Calvin we look at our former selves as morons) nor had a honeymoon. We woke up on a Friday and said "hey lets get married today!" and then two days later mike had to go back to work. He was Military when we got married so its not like he had the freewill to do what he wanted when he wanted. And all our "vacations" were back home to NY because we were stationed in Louisiana and didnt know better. Now that we are older and wiser we know we shouldve went to Hawaii or anywhere that was out of our time zone. This is 10yrs experience talking though. When youre 18 youre stupid so its not like our brains were fully functioning yet.
The past 10yrs have been a big learning experience in which we both grew and grew together. I couldnt imagine having this life with anyone else and I hope we are lucky enough to hit our 50yr and beyond anniversary.
I love you honey and heres to 50 more!
(Our little cake I had made for us since we didnt have one at our wedding)
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Calvin turns 1!
Calvin turned 1 on July 1st (yes I know, I know its been almost a month since his birthday but weve been busy folks)and I always said time went by fast, but BOY DID TIME GO BY FAST!!
In his first year Ive learned many things. Ive learned a love that I never thought possible and a emptiness from loss filled. He is my heart, moon, stars, sky and universe. In his 1st year my life has become something I never thought it would be. I always thought about children, wanted children and knew life would be great with a child. Calvin has exceeded all my expectations of what a child would be to me and what me as a mother could be. I look at him and all the stars align and anything bad that has ever happened in my life has been erased because those things have brought me to him. With losing a parent you feel as if that love, the love youve had so deeply and maternally is gone and you would never have that again. With Calvin though, its like Ive had that second chance at that level of love. I love my husband and family like nothing else, and Calvin is the icing on the cake. My life is finally complete.
To Calvin, whos heartbeat I heard at 12 weeks pregnant gave me such a rush I felt like light was going to burst out of my heart; YOU are the reason why we are here. To love and be loved.
We celebrated Calvins 1st.birthday in our home town of Buffalo NY on Saturday July 3rd. My grandparents rented a shelter at Losson park so I could invite all of our family and friends to share in the big deal. Shelter 7 to be exact and it was home to many of MY parties growing up too. When I first pulled up to the shelter I stood there looking at it for a long time. My grandma didnt purposely reserve that shelter because she thought it had any meaning or remembered we had my parties there so she didnt know any different. But as I was hauling all the crap I packed from Ohio to bring to the park I stood and looked at that shelter and smiled. Its like I could stand there and see parties we had at that shelter whizzing by me. A bittersweet moment for me as I knew my mother wouldnt be here to celebrate Calvins big day with us. My entire family though was there. That was amazing. Its been a long time since all of my family and old friends have been together. Now Mikes whole family has been subjected to my family too and they still actually want to see us! I kid, I kid.
My brother manned the grill while my father kept score on the sidelines. My uncle Mark and Aunt Heather made sure my grandmother could get a ride to the park so she could be there. Friends of my mothers, neighbors of my fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents all showed up to eat, drink and watch Calvin shovel half of his cake into his mouth like banana cream frosting was going extinct.
This is home. Calvin has an amazing family and Im very happy we could do that for him. Mike and I are very lucky to have all the people in our lives that we do and now Calvin gets to reap the joy. Everyone has made his 1st birthday something I will always remember and can look back on and tell him about. He wont remember that day, but we have plenty of pictures and cards and he has parents who can fill him in on it.
People always say "its a 1st birthday, the kid isnt going to remember it so why make a big deal?". Well Calvin is a big deal to ME. Life with Calvin is a big deal and I want him to have anything he can get from this life. Any memory, any story, and any chance at knowing his family, friends and all loved ones is a big deal.
I want him to have many, MANY birthdays. This first one was super special though. This one signified the first year he spent grabbing hold of my heart and shooting it into the world.
This past year is dedicated to you Calvin,
Let there be cake!
In his first year Ive learned many things. Ive learned a love that I never thought possible and a emptiness from loss filled. He is my heart, moon, stars, sky and universe. In his 1st year my life has become something I never thought it would be. I always thought about children, wanted children and knew life would be great with a child. Calvin has exceeded all my expectations of what a child would be to me and what me as a mother could be. I look at him and all the stars align and anything bad that has ever happened in my life has been erased because those things have brought me to him. With losing a parent you feel as if that love, the love youve had so deeply and maternally is gone and you would never have that again. With Calvin though, its like Ive had that second chance at that level of love. I love my husband and family like nothing else, and Calvin is the icing on the cake. My life is finally complete.
To Calvin, whos heartbeat I heard at 12 weeks pregnant gave me such a rush I felt like light was going to burst out of my heart; YOU are the reason why we are here. To love and be loved.
We celebrated Calvins 1st.birthday in our home town of Buffalo NY on Saturday July 3rd. My grandparents rented a shelter at Losson park so I could invite all of our family and friends to share in the big deal. Shelter 7 to be exact and it was home to many of MY parties growing up too. When I first pulled up to the shelter I stood there looking at it for a long time. My grandma didnt purposely reserve that shelter because she thought it had any meaning or remembered we had my parties there so she didnt know any different. But as I was hauling all the crap I packed from Ohio to bring to the park I stood and looked at that shelter and smiled. Its like I could stand there and see parties we had at that shelter whizzing by me. A bittersweet moment for me as I knew my mother wouldnt be here to celebrate Calvins big day with us. My entire family though was there. That was amazing. Its been a long time since all of my family and old friends have been together. Now Mikes whole family has been subjected to my family too and they still actually want to see us! I kid, I kid.
My brother manned the grill while my father kept score on the sidelines. My uncle Mark and Aunt Heather made sure my grandmother could get a ride to the park so she could be there. Friends of my mothers, neighbors of my fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents all showed up to eat, drink and watch Calvin shovel half of his cake into his mouth like banana cream frosting was going extinct.
This is home. Calvin has an amazing family and Im very happy we could do that for him. Mike and I are very lucky to have all the people in our lives that we do and now Calvin gets to reap the joy. Everyone has made his 1st birthday something I will always remember and can look back on and tell him about. He wont remember that day, but we have plenty of pictures and cards and he has parents who can fill him in on it.
People always say "its a 1st birthday, the kid isnt going to remember it so why make a big deal?". Well Calvin is a big deal to ME. Life with Calvin is a big deal and I want him to have anything he can get from this life. Any memory, any story, and any chance at knowing his family, friends and all loved ones is a big deal.
I want him to have many, MANY birthdays. This first one was super special though. This one signified the first year he spent grabbing hold of my heart and shooting it into the world.
This past year is dedicated to you Calvin,
Let there be cake!
Re-newed appreciation.
The day to day life of a SAHM can be tedious.
7am Shower, listen to Calvin squawking through the monitor.
7:10am Dry off, dress and shove in contacts all at the same time.
7:11am Listen to Stimpy and Moxie meow and try to kill me by rubbing on my legs and feet. YES, I know, everyone is happy mommy is up!
7:15am Run into Calvins room and see he threw everything out of his bed and smells a bit like a farm.
7:16am YAY POOP DIAPER!
7:18am Wrestle with flailing baby to get all the embedded poop off of his butt.
7:23am No more poop till 9am
7:25am Go downstairs and "Open shop". Turn on lights, open blinds, feed crying cats and get Cals breakfast going. Or it will be the end of the world.
8:00am Clean up kiddo from the entire produce section he just ate and waffles/pancakes. This kid is the meaning of "eating us out of house and home".
8:00-8:30am David arrives!
8:30am David poops!
8:30am-9:30am Kiddos play. Their drug of choice lately is anything Ball. "Hey even though I have that ball in my hand right now but in blue I want the one you have in orange!"
9:00am Listen as Cal stops what hes doing to grunt his way to a new Poop.
9:05am Cal needs a new diaper.
9:30am Break up a ball fight
9:30am Calvin usually needs a nap. Put Calvin down and wrestle with him to take a nap. Listen to him cry through the monitor and hope he falls asleep. 75% of the time he goes to sleep, 25% he cries and cries and I have to go and get him. Then its more fighting for a ball.
10:00am-10:30am Calvin gets up and its snack time! Calvins favorite time of day is any time that involves food.
10:30am Gobble up goldfish crackers, whine for a 4 course meal.
10:45am Art! Or anything else on the plan such as books,flash cards,ABCs etc... A trip to the park, museum, or my favorite; TARGET!!
11:45am-12:00pm Arrive home from our destination and get ready for lunch. Listen as Calvin cries at my feet for food that shouldve been ready rightthissecond! Hes deprived.
12:30pm Clean up from lunch and kiddos run off some steam by playing. With? A BALL or one of the bowls from the pots and pans cabinet.
1:00pm-4:00pm David naps
1:00pm-2:00pm Calvin naps
2:00pm Get Calvin up, play, do some laundry. Wish I was napping.
3:00pm Calvin snack time (AGAIN)
4:00pm David gets up
4:15pm Davids snack time. Calvins time to whine for Davids snack.
4:30pm Music,book,puzzle,bubbles, end of the day entertainment.
5:30pm David goes home, start dinner. Try and be as fast as I can or Calvin will whine and cry like he hasnt eaten all day.
6:00pm Eat
6:30pm-7:30pm Entertain a whining toddler because he refused to take longer then a hour nap and has been up since 2
7:30pm Bathtime. Splash, throw toys out of the tub, stand and want to walk around in the bubbles, drink the bath water.
8:00pm Kiddo is asleep!!
8:00pm-8:30pm Clean up destroyed house. Sanitize.
8:30pm Sit down for the first time that day and relax OR go to the gym. Id much rather relax so that is why its taken me since December to drop just under 10lbs.
10:00pm ready for bed!
10:00pm and 30 seconds LIGHTS OUT and mommas passed out.
Now this is how my day at my old job was. The one where they screwed me:
7:30am-6:00pm THIS JOB SUCKS AND I WANT TO SCREAM ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY AND WISH THE DUMP WOULD BURN DOWN TO A PILE OF ASHES.
All. Day.
Yesterday I saw that one of my old co-workers is currently on vacation. This means they are down a person and have to do that co-workers work too. If I was still there that means it wouldve mostly fallen on me. It was a great reminder that I get to stay at home all day with my Son and play and teach him new things. Yesterday for instance, he walked over to where I have the bubbles on the shelf and said "bubble! bubble!". I taught him that and because of me hes growing and learning and thriving. Made my day. Also knowing that my old job was having a rough week and I was here, in my home, snuggling with my love all day made me smile. REAL big.
I love this life. There is nothing more I want to be doing then exactly what Im doing right now.
7am Shower, listen to Calvin squawking through the monitor.
7:10am Dry off, dress and shove in contacts all at the same time.
7:11am Listen to Stimpy and Moxie meow and try to kill me by rubbing on my legs and feet. YES, I know, everyone is happy mommy is up!
7:15am Run into Calvins room and see he threw everything out of his bed and smells a bit like a farm.
7:16am YAY POOP DIAPER!
7:18am Wrestle with flailing baby to get all the embedded poop off of his butt.
7:23am No more poop till 9am
7:25am Go downstairs and "Open shop". Turn on lights, open blinds, feed crying cats and get Cals breakfast going. Or it will be the end of the world.
8:00am Clean up kiddo from the entire produce section he just ate and waffles/pancakes. This kid is the meaning of "eating us out of house and home".
8:00-8:30am David arrives!
8:30am David poops!
8:30am-9:30am Kiddos play. Their drug of choice lately is anything Ball. "Hey even though I have that ball in my hand right now but in blue I want the one you have in orange!"
9:00am Listen as Cal stops what hes doing to grunt his way to a new Poop.
9:05am Cal needs a new diaper.
9:30am Break up a ball fight
9:30am Calvin usually needs a nap. Put Calvin down and wrestle with him to take a nap. Listen to him cry through the monitor and hope he falls asleep. 75% of the time he goes to sleep, 25% he cries and cries and I have to go and get him. Then its more fighting for a ball.
10:00am-10:30am Calvin gets up and its snack time! Calvins favorite time of day is any time that involves food.
10:30am Gobble up goldfish crackers, whine for a 4 course meal.
10:45am Art! Or anything else on the plan such as books,flash cards,ABCs etc... A trip to the park, museum, or my favorite; TARGET!!
11:45am-12:00pm Arrive home from our destination and get ready for lunch. Listen as Calvin cries at my feet for food that shouldve been ready rightthissecond! Hes deprived.
12:30pm Clean up from lunch and kiddos run off some steam by playing. With? A BALL or one of the bowls from the pots and pans cabinet.
1:00pm-4:00pm David naps
1:00pm-2:00pm Calvin naps
2:00pm Get Calvin up, play, do some laundry. Wish I was napping.
3:00pm Calvin snack time (AGAIN)
4:00pm David gets up
4:15pm Davids snack time. Calvins time to whine for Davids snack.
4:30pm Music,book,puzzle,bubbles, end of the day entertainment.
5:30pm David goes home, start dinner. Try and be as fast as I can or Calvin will whine and cry like he hasnt eaten all day.
6:00pm Eat
6:30pm-7:30pm Entertain a whining toddler because he refused to take longer then a hour nap and has been up since 2
7:30pm Bathtime. Splash, throw toys out of the tub, stand and want to walk around in the bubbles, drink the bath water.
8:00pm Kiddo is asleep!!
8:00pm-8:30pm Clean up destroyed house. Sanitize.
8:30pm Sit down for the first time that day and relax OR go to the gym. Id much rather relax so that is why its taken me since December to drop just under 10lbs.
10:00pm ready for bed!
10:00pm and 30 seconds LIGHTS OUT and mommas passed out.
Now this is how my day at my old job was. The one where they screwed me:
7:30am-6:00pm THIS JOB SUCKS AND I WANT TO SCREAM ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY AND WISH THE DUMP WOULD BURN DOWN TO A PILE OF ASHES.
All. Day.
Yesterday I saw that one of my old co-workers is currently on vacation. This means they are down a person and have to do that co-workers work too. If I was still there that means it wouldve mostly fallen on me. It was a great reminder that I get to stay at home all day with my Son and play and teach him new things. Yesterday for instance, he walked over to where I have the bubbles on the shelf and said "bubble! bubble!". I taught him that and because of me hes growing and learning and thriving. Made my day. Also knowing that my old job was having a rough week and I was here, in my home, snuggling with my love all day made me smile. REAL big.
I love this life. There is nothing more I want to be doing then exactly what Im doing right now.
Friday, July 23, 2010
No more Big Brother!
We still keep tabs on Calvin with a baby monitor. This helps for when Im downstairs and he wakes up from a nap and starts squawking for me to come get him rightthissecond! Yesterday I was down on the couch during his nap (taking a minute to sit while I waited for the lady to pick up bottles) and I heard the monitor go to static. This means the channel has been changed and could mean only one thing: Calvin was up and he found the base to his monitor that was UNDER his bed.
>
Yup. I ran up there and he had the cord (very safe!) in his hand and was pulling up the base of the monitor. If he was mad we were keeping tabs on him I dont know. Its only the beginning kid, you will ALWAYS be monitored.
>
Yup. I ran up there and he had the cord (very safe!) in his hand and was pulling up the base of the monitor. If he was mad we were keeping tabs on him I dont know. Its only the beginning kid, you will ALWAYS be monitored.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
"All that fur is strictly Ornamental"
A few things to consider.
Over the past year and half I have learned some very important things that I shouldve done before I got pregnant and had Calvin. Heres my list:
1) Cherish the new things you bought.
*This includes that new T-Shirt that cost you more then 7 bucks and still has that "I dont have a kid that pulls/spits up/uses it as a tissue" crispness to it. Once you have a kid, all your stuff belongs to them. That new T-shirt will only be new from the time you pull it over the baby front butt while walking from the pile of clothes on the floor to the screaming kids bedroom. Once there you will find that the kid has either boogers running down their face from crying so hard cause you didnt get them the second they started squawking or the kid will be covered in poo. Those bodily fluids will then become a permanent fixture on that "new" shirt you HAD on. At that one time. For 3.5 seconds.
2) Have a high maintenance hair style.
*One that requires more then a quick run through the shower early in the morning. One where you remember to actually RINSE out the shampoo and say "hey I think Ill give conditioner a try today too!". Try a new hair style that requires the use of products and a blow dryer along with a straightner, curling iron and a small comb to tease. Right after Calvin I gave in and got the "mom hair". Short and simple and now I just use shampoo (on a GOOD day) and let it air dry where I then pull it up into a bun/pony tail that was popular when I first started highschool. 15yrs ago. Thats a MILF right there let me tell you.
3)Wear trendy makeup. Or any make up at all.
*I would so have raided the Mac counter EVERY SINGLE season if I wouldve known to. That new peacock look they are sporting this season? IM SO THERE!! 15 eyeshadows and 3 different eyeliners at once? Sign me up! Moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder and photo finish dusting? I HAVE A HOUR SURE!! Now, after that 3 second shower that I sometimes forgot to use soap in, Im lucky if I have time to put on Mascara. The other day I noticed I had a wrinkle on my forehead. Great, like I have time to add something else to the list of things I should be tending too: Find a wrinkle filler that can also double as a acne fighter. Cause yes, I have BOTH now. Lucky me.
4)Be late to work a few times a month.
* I learned this AFTER I had Calvin. I say this because I was let go at my job under the pretenses that I "no longer had my head in the game". This being said, just be lazy off the bat like the rest of your coworkers. Show up later then most. Instead of being the 1st late person, be the 3rd! This way when you do have a kid and youre late cause you know, your nursing another life, or tending to another helpless life or dreaming of a DIFFERENT life (one that involved sleep and proper grooming habits). You can work on that extensive hairstyle and makeup routine you have going on if that gives you the edge to be late. No one will be surprised how your numbers have fallen and you wont be let go. Even though you did twice as much work as the next person. Who was there for more then 10 yrs but still sat there with a blank look while you tried to explain for the 7th time that day how to ctrl+T to open a new tab. In IE.
5) Be lazy. This can also go hand in hand with #4.
*Its Saturday! Yay a break from the work week where you have no obligations but maybe to figure out if youd like to go back to that dream about being a millionaire and living on some beach (PRE-oil spill) or getting up to go downstairs and catch up on all that DVR crap you have while dozing off till noon still in your pjs. Right now weekdays flow into weekends. The only difference for me is that I have one less kid on the weekends cause "Day care de Erin" is closed. You dont want to shower? AWESOME, dont! Because you choose not to shower, not cause you dont have time. You dont want to brush your teeth? Well, on second thought, please brush your teeth if thats the only thing you do that day. You cant do much for stinky poo breath.
6) Take long lunches. Again, can go hand in hand with #4 and #5.
*You have a hour for lunch? Awesome! Take a hour and half. Get out for a drive with the music blaring. Go stroll at the mall sans a stroller, diaper bag and the retracing of steps to look for that shoe the kid magically pried off his foot and then probably tossed out in the parking lot BEFORE you got into the mall. I love working from home but I dont really get much of a lunch break. My day is from 7am to 8pm 7 days a week. Where I love it and am happy I can be lucky enough to stay at home and have my own business I do sometimes miss the trips to the bookstore or naps in my car Id take when I had that bend over job. SOMETIMES. Most of the time Im just really REALLY happy I dont have that Bend. Over. Job.
7) Take random naps.
*I love peoples advice when I was pregnant "Sleep now cause once the baby comes you will miss it". NO SHIT!! If I hear a person say that to a pregnant mom Im gonna beat them with my two ton diaper bag. How about instead of saying that opt to give the expectant mom a coupon book full of "this is good for one nap, I will come over and watch your kid so you can take a nap". Be sure its a thick coupon book too and thats its available for ANY TIME. Like at 3am and then again at 5am. THATS what I wouldve loved to have at my shower. A bunch of coupon books for sleep. Id be using one right now if I could. So before a kid, take a nap. Do it now. I dont care if youre at your desk or driving a cab. This way when youre up at 3am and you get into that delirious giddy/crying mood you can daydream back to when you used to nap.
8)Read more.
*And not just internet reading. Digg.com and mommy blogs aside, get to the store/library and read a actual book. I dont care if its the entire series of "The babysitters Club". Right now I have time to browse other moms blogs who in turn have time to write in one sentence blurbs on twitter "Im SO TIRED!!".
9) Marvel at how thin you are RIGHT NOW!
*Every day you wake up and think "Man I could be a lot thinner or toner" am I right? Yeah well go up to the mirror right this second and look at how even though you think your tummy jiggles now, it doesnt jiggle half as much as it will once you pop out your beloved. I look at older photos of myself and think about how even at the time those were taken I thought I looked like crap. Well, those dont hold a candle to how I look now! Ahhh the fruits of my labor....
10) Build a "More then 4 beers tolerance"
*I cant drink more then 2 beers before I start to "feel" it and become all buzzed. Seriously, I was at the Reds game a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and I had two beers before I was out! I mean, I used to be able to do pretty good with my "drink of choice". Now, man now I can just smell a beer (light beer at that!) and be all "wheeee is that a moms gone wild van ahead?" (I kid, Im way past that stage). So I say go out and try all kinds of yummy drinks. Be the one that can hold her own! Right now Im lucky if I can hold a wine glass after half a glass.
11) Print up photos.
*It took me 15 yrs to frame a family photo of My mom, dad, brother and I. Not because I didnt want to but because I either forgot to, couldnt find the photos or didnt have any printed up. We have TONS of photos taken of family over the past 10 yrs that we havent printed up. They sit on one of the millions of computers we have in the house or tucked away on some portable hard drive. I went parasailing one year with the hubby in Panama city FL. Does anyone know this? No. Do I remember this? NO! I need to locate them and print them up. Calvin needs to be able to see photos of family and friends right? No! Mommy needs a friggin nap.
12) Listen to R-Rated music.
*You know that new Eminem Album that came out? Well, listen to it at the gym buddy cause thats the only time youll feel comfortable listening to it. In the car I feel kinda guilty for listening to "f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid" in the car with your 1 yr old in tow. You think "man shouldnt I be listening to wiggles or something that has ABC's in it?". You know eventually he will be listening to way worse then this in 14yrs but you think his first word should be "mommy" and not "bitch".
Once youve completed this list then you and your Significant other (or sperm bank book) can try the fun (tedious)task of trying to conceive a new life that will bring you nothing but love and joy. To be honest with you though, I dont really miss all of that stuff. I love Calvin way more then I love sleep.
MOST of the time...
1) Cherish the new things you bought.
*This includes that new T-Shirt that cost you more then 7 bucks and still has that "I dont have a kid that pulls/spits up/uses it as a tissue" crispness to it. Once you have a kid, all your stuff belongs to them. That new T-shirt will only be new from the time you pull it over the baby front butt while walking from the pile of clothes on the floor to the screaming kids bedroom. Once there you will find that the kid has either boogers running down their face from crying so hard cause you didnt get them the second they started squawking or the kid will be covered in poo. Those bodily fluids will then become a permanent fixture on that "new" shirt you HAD on. At that one time. For 3.5 seconds.
2) Have a high maintenance hair style.
*One that requires more then a quick run through the shower early in the morning. One where you remember to actually RINSE out the shampoo and say "hey I think Ill give conditioner a try today too!". Try a new hair style that requires the use of products and a blow dryer along with a straightner, curling iron and a small comb to tease. Right after Calvin I gave in and got the "mom hair". Short and simple and now I just use shampoo (on a GOOD day) and let it air dry where I then pull it up into a bun/pony tail that was popular when I first started highschool. 15yrs ago. Thats a MILF right there let me tell you.
3)Wear trendy makeup. Or any make up at all.
*I would so have raided the Mac counter EVERY SINGLE season if I wouldve known to. That new peacock look they are sporting this season? IM SO THERE!! 15 eyeshadows and 3 different eyeliners at once? Sign me up! Moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder and photo finish dusting? I HAVE A HOUR SURE!! Now, after that 3 second shower that I sometimes forgot to use soap in, Im lucky if I have time to put on Mascara. The other day I noticed I had a wrinkle on my forehead. Great, like I have time to add something else to the list of things I should be tending too: Find a wrinkle filler that can also double as a acne fighter. Cause yes, I have BOTH now. Lucky me.
4)Be late to work a few times a month.
* I learned this AFTER I had Calvin. I say this because I was let go at my job under the pretenses that I "no longer had my head in the game". This being said, just be lazy off the bat like the rest of your coworkers. Show up later then most. Instead of being the 1st late person, be the 3rd! This way when you do have a kid and youre late cause you know, your nursing another life, or tending to another helpless life or dreaming of a DIFFERENT life (one that involved sleep and proper grooming habits). You can work on that extensive hairstyle and makeup routine you have going on if that gives you the edge to be late. No one will be surprised how your numbers have fallen and you wont be let go. Even though you did twice as much work as the next person. Who was there for more then 10 yrs but still sat there with a blank look while you tried to explain for the 7th time that day how to ctrl+T to open a new tab. In IE.
5) Be lazy. This can also go hand in hand with #4.
*Its Saturday! Yay a break from the work week where you have no obligations but maybe to figure out if youd like to go back to that dream about being a millionaire and living on some beach (PRE-oil spill) or getting up to go downstairs and catch up on all that DVR crap you have while dozing off till noon still in your pjs. Right now weekdays flow into weekends. The only difference for me is that I have one less kid on the weekends cause "Day care de Erin" is closed. You dont want to shower? AWESOME, dont! Because you choose not to shower, not cause you dont have time. You dont want to brush your teeth? Well, on second thought, please brush your teeth if thats the only thing you do that day. You cant do much for stinky poo breath.
6) Take long lunches. Again, can go hand in hand with #4 and #5.
*You have a hour for lunch? Awesome! Take a hour and half. Get out for a drive with the music blaring. Go stroll at the mall sans a stroller, diaper bag and the retracing of steps to look for that shoe the kid magically pried off his foot and then probably tossed out in the parking lot BEFORE you got into the mall. I love working from home but I dont really get much of a lunch break. My day is from 7am to 8pm 7 days a week. Where I love it and am happy I can be lucky enough to stay at home and have my own business I do sometimes miss the trips to the bookstore or naps in my car Id take when I had that bend over job. SOMETIMES. Most of the time Im just really REALLY happy I dont have that Bend. Over. Job.
7) Take random naps.
*I love peoples advice when I was pregnant "Sleep now cause once the baby comes you will miss it". NO SHIT!! If I hear a person say that to a pregnant mom Im gonna beat them with my two ton diaper bag. How about instead of saying that opt to give the expectant mom a coupon book full of "this is good for one nap, I will come over and watch your kid so you can take a nap". Be sure its a thick coupon book too and thats its available for ANY TIME. Like at 3am and then again at 5am. THATS what I wouldve loved to have at my shower. A bunch of coupon books for sleep. Id be using one right now if I could. So before a kid, take a nap. Do it now. I dont care if youre at your desk or driving a cab. This way when youre up at 3am and you get into that delirious giddy/crying mood you can daydream back to when you used to nap.
8)Read more.
*And not just internet reading. Digg.com and mommy blogs aside, get to the store/library and read a actual book. I dont care if its the entire series of "The babysitters Club". Right now I have time to browse other moms blogs who in turn have time to write in one sentence blurbs on twitter "Im SO TIRED!!".
9) Marvel at how thin you are RIGHT NOW!
*Every day you wake up and think "Man I could be a lot thinner or toner" am I right? Yeah well go up to the mirror right this second and look at how even though you think your tummy jiggles now, it doesnt jiggle half as much as it will once you pop out your beloved. I look at older photos of myself and think about how even at the time those were taken I thought I looked like crap. Well, those dont hold a candle to how I look now! Ahhh the fruits of my labor....
10) Build a "More then 4 beers tolerance"
*I cant drink more then 2 beers before I start to "feel" it and become all buzzed. Seriously, I was at the Reds game a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and I had two beers before I was out! I mean, I used to be able to do pretty good with my "drink of choice". Now, man now I can just smell a beer (light beer at that!) and be all "wheeee is that a moms gone wild van ahead?" (I kid, Im way past that stage). So I say go out and try all kinds of yummy drinks. Be the one that can hold her own! Right now Im lucky if I can hold a wine glass after half a glass.
11) Print up photos.
*It took me 15 yrs to frame a family photo of My mom, dad, brother and I. Not because I didnt want to but because I either forgot to, couldnt find the photos or didnt have any printed up. We have TONS of photos taken of family over the past 10 yrs that we havent printed up. They sit on one of the millions of computers we have in the house or tucked away on some portable hard drive. I went parasailing one year with the hubby in Panama city FL. Does anyone know this? No. Do I remember this? NO! I need to locate them and print them up. Calvin needs to be able to see photos of family and friends right? No! Mommy needs a friggin nap.
12) Listen to R-Rated music.
*You know that new Eminem Album that came out? Well, listen to it at the gym buddy cause thats the only time youll feel comfortable listening to it. In the car I feel kinda guilty for listening to "f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid" in the car with your 1 yr old in tow. You think "man shouldnt I be listening to wiggles or something that has ABC's in it?". You know eventually he will be listening to way worse then this in 14yrs but you think his first word should be "mommy" and not "bitch".
Once youve completed this list then you and your Significant other (or sperm bank book) can try the fun (tedious)task of trying to conceive a new life that will bring you nothing but love and joy. To be honest with you though, I dont really miss all of that stuff. I love Calvin way more then I love sleep.
MOST of the time...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Bye bye bottle.
Over the past month and half I had been slowly weaning Calvin off the bottle. I started with getting rid of his lunch time bottle and then moving to dinner. That lasted a good 3 weeks. I wanted to wait till after his trip home (more on the trip soon)for his 1st birthday to get rid of the morning one and the evening one. I was hoping by this time he would be pretty used to the sippy cups and the transistion wouldnt be so painful. I didnt want Calvin to be that kid. The kid whos mouth was still plastered to the bottle, the kid whos old enough to speak (or grunt, point, whine...)and/or GO TO COLLEGE. You see those kids. The ones who are 2 or 3 and throw fits if they dont get their bottle. You also know that you secretly judge too.
You: "Wow, Allison really likes her bottles huh?" (All while thinking Really? Shouldnt a 3yr old be helping with dishes and not wanting to tell you she needs to be on level 7 flow nipples?)
Allisons Mom: "Yeah, well, shes just REALLY attached and we cant bare to see her cry for it"
You:"Yeah I know, I heard it can be difficult for some children to wean. I mean my 3 yr old son still likes sponge bob!" Chuckle Chuckle
Allisons Mom; "We keep saying we need to do it this weekend but then we get busy and its just easier to give her a bottle"
You:"Yeah we just did it over a period of time. It was difficult at first but after a bit he got the hang of it and right after he was one he was all done (a small twinge of smugness.) We didnt want him to have his own apartment BEFORE he gave up the bottle."
Allisons Mom:"Yeah, she will tell us when shes ready..."
You: (Thinking now Allisons mom still probably nurses her 13yr old son too) "Yeah, eventually she will be right there with the rest of her peers...."(OR she can just trade up the formula shes probably still on for beer once she hits college!)
Allisons Mom:"Well shes really advanced in picture books, the doctor thinks she could be a educator!(Drinks more wine)
You: (Drinks more wine)"Yup, its good to tell her she can be whatever she wants to be when she gets older!" (All while thinking, as long as she wants to live in her childhood bedroom till shes 35....)
Both: SMILE, show all clenched teeth and SMILE
So with all that being said, we have successfully weaned the kid off the bottle. Ok, not SUCCESSFULLY yet. He still stands at the dishwasher all while whining "Bo..BO!" and giving me this sad little "why do you hate me" look that makes me want to dig up the bottles and throw them on the floor and say "Here you go kid, roll around in them, kiss them, dance around them for all I care". But I care more about how my parenting looks to the other Judges (moms) then if Calvin is mentally distraught. Thats a lie. I care about his development, his teeth and his independence. Even if that means hes no longer a baby. Even if that means I cried as I put the bottles in a box.
Tomorrow a lady is coming to pick them up to give to her cousin. I put a add on Craigslist for someone to come and get them. This is it kiddo, you can no longer plead your case, they will be long gone.
That is until his college years. Then he will see A LOT of bottles. A lot of awful smelling couches too, Im sure.
You: "Wow, Allison really likes her bottles huh?" (All while thinking Really? Shouldnt a 3yr old be helping with dishes and not wanting to tell you she needs to be on level 7 flow nipples?)
Allisons Mom: "Yeah, well, shes just REALLY attached and we cant bare to see her cry for it"
You:"Yeah I know, I heard it can be difficult for some children to wean. I mean my 3 yr old son still likes sponge bob!" Chuckle Chuckle
Allisons Mom; "We keep saying we need to do it this weekend but then we get busy and its just easier to give her a bottle"
You:"Yeah we just did it over a period of time. It was difficult at first but after a bit he got the hang of it and right after he was one he was all done (a small twinge of smugness.) We didnt want him to have his own apartment BEFORE he gave up the bottle."
Allisons Mom:"Yeah, she will tell us when shes ready..."
You: (Thinking now Allisons mom still probably nurses her 13yr old son too) "Yeah, eventually she will be right there with the rest of her peers...."(OR she can just trade up the formula shes probably still on for beer once she hits college!)
Allisons Mom:"Well shes really advanced in picture books, the doctor thinks she could be a educator!(Drinks more wine)
You: (Drinks more wine)"Yup, its good to tell her she can be whatever she wants to be when she gets older!" (All while thinking, as long as she wants to live in her childhood bedroom till shes 35....)
Both: SMILE, show all clenched teeth and SMILE
So with all that being said, we have successfully weaned the kid off the bottle. Ok, not SUCCESSFULLY yet. He still stands at the dishwasher all while whining "Bo..BO!" and giving me this sad little "why do you hate me" look that makes me want to dig up the bottles and throw them on the floor and say "Here you go kid, roll around in them, kiss them, dance around them for all I care". But I care more about how my parenting looks to the other Judges (moms) then if Calvin is mentally distraught. Thats a lie. I care about his development, his teeth and his independence. Even if that means hes no longer a baby. Even if that means I cried as I put the bottles in a box.
Tomorrow a lady is coming to pick them up to give to her cousin. I put a add on Craigslist for someone to come and get them. This is it kiddo, you can no longer plead your case, they will be long gone.
That is until his college years. Then he will see A LOT of bottles. A lot of awful smelling couches too, Im sure.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Curse of the Audi.
We are a family of foreign car owners. Ive had two Audi's, a Mazda and a Nissan. Mike has had two BMWs and shared in the copulation of my Audi's, Mazda and Nissan. Its not like we arent for America or anything. We really are, we've even owned a few [redneck] firebirds and camaros! America is beautiful and one day we would love to live in Canada. This being said, most of the time these foreign cars that we have so blindly purchased have sucked. Mostly my Audi's. Its like Germany wanted to play a cruel joke that they "knew nothing about" on an American and that American was me. They secretly made my cars foreign spys and Im sure the hidden cameras have hours of footage of me yelling and swearing and then probably picking my nose. My Audis were like that beautiful Russian spy they just caught. All pretty and innocent with long flowing hair and with enough cleavage to distract you from that, oh wait what was I just talking about.....
Anyways, yes my Audis blew. It all started with a nice Audi A4. A 4 door practical vehicle with just enough pretty to satisfy my "look at me" facade while driving back and forth to a job that blew a little worse then my car. It was blue and shiny and had nice assets. Till winter when I (the former Buffalonian!) drove it into a ditch about 50 feet from my bend over job. Then I screwed up the front end and I had a nice little story that I was the butt end of at work. "Hey Erin, the lady from BUFFALO, remember when you drove your car into a ditch? Hahahaha well you better be going now cause someone sneezed and it looks like snow on the ground!" Yeah,well, HA HA HA! Hope all of you bastards are enjoying STILL HAVING TO WORK AT BLOW ME CENTRAL. HA HA.
God my old job sucked.
Well eventually we traded that Audi in for, you guessed it, ANOTHER Audi. This time a cute little 2 door sports car.
Yeah isnt it just Darling up there on a tow truck? Uh huh it sure is! The 4 yrs we owned it (I call it "it" because I firmly believe it was cursed and would figure out ways to piss me off by breaking and bleeding us dry)was hell. The first week we had it, we drove it up to Buffalo to visit family and on the way back some oil think broke and cost us my first born (her name was Angela and I wonder what she is up to nowadays...). We fixed it and ever since then its been one bend over after another (kinda like my old job! Huh. Those two should've hooked up and could've had a brainstorming session on how to screw me over more). We knew we needed to sell it but really didn't have much of a push. Then tada! I got all pregnant and stuff and we really had to sell it (more like panic). 2 years later and with a 1yr old now, we still had the stupid bitch. At this point, after putting thousands of dollars into it, I was convinced that it would be Calvin's first car. It hogged my spot in the garage and every time I went out there I would whisper "I hate you" and I swear it would spit at me!
Who would want a angry car that spat at you? Its like owning a monkey that throws its crap at you. Kinda cute until you're the one getting hit with the crap and then having to clean it up. NO ONE WANTS A CRAP THROWING MONKEY. And no one wanted the TT.
Until some nice man came along and bought it for his 16 yr old son. By now though the entire car is all nice and fixed and pretty and wont break until the 16yr old wraps it around a tree.
I will never own another Audi unless that is, we are millionaires and money is like rain to us. This way we can afford all the bull that comes with owning one instead of daydreaming what it would be like to drive the car off the hill in our neighborhood. Ive actually had this daydream MORE then once. I would imagine it shooting off the hill in a fireball as I fired M16 bullets that I somehow obtained from the gun store down the street. All while maniacally screaming and with beads of sweat falling down my face.
I bet I could get a movie deal out of this....
Anyways, yes my Audis blew. It all started with a nice Audi A4. A 4 door practical vehicle with just enough pretty to satisfy my "look at me" facade while driving back and forth to a job that blew a little worse then my car. It was blue and shiny and had nice assets. Till winter when I (the former Buffalonian!) drove it into a ditch about 50 feet from my bend over job. Then I screwed up the front end and I had a nice little story that I was the butt end of at work. "Hey Erin, the lady from BUFFALO, remember when you drove your car into a ditch? Hahahaha well you better be going now cause someone sneezed and it looks like snow on the ground!" Yeah,well, HA HA HA! Hope all of you bastards are enjoying STILL HAVING TO WORK AT BLOW ME CENTRAL. HA HA.
God my old job sucked.
Well eventually we traded that Audi in for, you guessed it, ANOTHER Audi. This time a cute little 2 door sports car.
Yeah isnt it just Darling up there on a tow truck? Uh huh it sure is! The 4 yrs we owned it (I call it "it" because I firmly believe it was cursed and would figure out ways to piss me off by breaking and bleeding us dry)was hell. The first week we had it, we drove it up to Buffalo to visit family and on the way back some oil think broke and cost us my first born (her name was Angela and I wonder what she is up to nowadays...). We fixed it and ever since then its been one bend over after another (kinda like my old job! Huh. Those two should've hooked up and could've had a brainstorming session on how to screw me over more). We knew we needed to sell it but really didn't have much of a push. Then tada! I got all pregnant and stuff and we really had to sell it (more like panic). 2 years later and with a 1yr old now, we still had the stupid bitch. At this point, after putting thousands of dollars into it, I was convinced that it would be Calvin's first car. It hogged my spot in the garage and every time I went out there I would whisper "I hate you" and I swear it would spit at me!
Who would want a angry car that spat at you? Its like owning a monkey that throws its crap at you. Kinda cute until you're the one getting hit with the crap and then having to clean it up. NO ONE WANTS A CRAP THROWING MONKEY. And no one wanted the TT.
Until some nice man came along and bought it for his 16 yr old son. By now though the entire car is all nice and fixed and pretty and wont break until the 16yr old wraps it around a tree.
I will never own another Audi unless that is, we are millionaires and money is like rain to us. This way we can afford all the bull that comes with owning one instead of daydreaming what it would be like to drive the car off the hill in our neighborhood. Ive actually had this daydream MORE then once. I would imagine it shooting off the hill in a fireball as I fired M16 bullets that I somehow obtained from the gun store down the street. All while maniacally screaming and with beads of sweat falling down my face.
I bet I could get a movie deal out of this....
Friday, July 9, 2010
My niece
When we went home for Calvins 1st Birthday I had to shoot over to my brothers to see my niece and nephew. Like rightthatsecond! McKenzie is 16 months already and is absolutely beautiful. Those bubble gym eyes are amazing and I cant get over what a mix of my brother and sister in-law she is. I can honestly say Ive never seen a little girl more beautiful then my niece. My brother is screwed.
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