Thursday, February 25, 2010


I always thought of myself as a career woman. Someone who needed adult conversation to function. So when I got pregnant last year I figured I would work till I gave birth, go on maternity leave for 8 weeks and return to the desk. I always have been a dedicated worker and I did work till I just about gave birth. In fact my doctor had to write me off of work at 38 weeks because she thought it was insane that I was still up and at it 12hrs a day. I sat in front of a computer all day, so being insanely pregnant and working wasnt too bad. It kept me out of the baby stores and Ikea.

Once I had Calvin, my thinking changed.

I went back to work after 8 weeks. We didnt do the traditional daycare because I have worked in daycare before for a long time. Unless you have compassionate workers there you shouldnt have a problem. Most of the time though, daycares are employeed by 19yr olds trying to get through college and not really paying great attention to other peoples children. Sorry, but its true. Now some people love daycare and I dont knock it, I just wanted to go a different route when it came to my son. So we went to all places to look for child care: craigslist. On there we found this amazing woman named Richele. Shes a stay at home mom to two great kids and was looking to watch babies too. Sometimes craigslist can have scary outcomes. In our case it was one of the best decesions we did for our son. Shes has crazy energy, a beautiful family who invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them, a great home environment and children that love my child. Since our family lives 7hrs from us shes our "next of kin" here in Ohio and I really dont know what we would do without her. Everyone who has a kid should also have a Richele. With that being said it also made me want to be like her. I thought, "hey! I could be like her maybe. Maybe stay at home with my son and watch someone elses kid too. Maybe I could be a Richele!".

So the wheels began turning in my head. I really missed my son. Some days it would physically hurt to have to go to work because I would want to be with him. It was a surprise to me because even though I loved him so much to begin with, I never thought how much I could love him. I wanted to stay home. So I started to prepare myself in October to stay home some time after the new year. I enrolled in online classes to get my certification in child development and I also did a lovely 8 hr ALL day infant CPR and first aid class (another class I recommend you take if you have kids). I plan on taking a few more classes too and finish up my degree in it but right now I feel pretty good with being certified.

Oh boy, Im certified to help develop a childs mind. HELP US ALL!!

So roll in the new year. I have a talk with my boss that in a few months I maybe leaving but when I do Ill give my two week notice. I wont leave them hanging. I intend to work through March while I was still preparing to do anything in-home. We are always busy at work and couldve used another person actually to help with all the crap we do daily. My work is a bit stingy when it comes to hiring people so they stretch the work as thinly as possible without giving any raises (OH THAT ECONOMY) or overtime (again, THE ECONOMY!!). I hear through the grapevine that as of this Friday they were looking to give me the AX. Now I dont appreciate that. I worked for this company for 4 years. In these 4 years I had one raise. I feel I worked the job of two people and yet still, nothing. So hearing that makes me rage inside. I came back after my maternity leave. I couldve been that asshole who said "screw you and good luck doing all that work I did" but I didnt. I left my 8 week old son to drive half hour each way to work. Every single day. So I emailed my boss and said "we need to talk". He calls me in Monday at 4:30 and is like "whats up?". I tell him that I hear this and that and I want to know whats going on because Im going out of town this weekend and Im not going to rush home monday to go to work on tuesday and they say "see ya". He told me he meant to tell me last week but they would not need me past thusday. Oh. MEANT to tell me. How nice that they MEANT to tell me. Too bad the weather was bad and he was busy because he forgot to tell me. Awesome. His words were:"we really appreciate what you have done here. How long have you been here? 4 years huh? Really? Well in those few years your numbers have been great and bullshit bullshit bullshit but we will no longer need you. We will be able to get by fine without you. If you werent going to eventually leave we were going to have to downside again anyways"


I smile, say "no problem, thanks" and walk out of his office. 4 years and thats what I get. A thank you but we dont need you anymore. I dont even get to go out on my own glory. I wonder, can I file for unemployment?

I worked till today (Thursday). My co-workers were great and got me a we will miss you card and made all kinds of food. These women are great cookers/bakers and Ill miss that along with the laughs and banter. My send off was great. Im VERY excited to stay home with my Monkey. I have no problems answering to a boss whos pants I have to change and who pays me in slobbery kisses. Hes absolutely amazing and everything has worked out perfectly.

I had to work later then everyone else today, known as our late days. We work till 6 once a week to cover the west coast calls (very stupid policy as no one ever calls and it just pisses us off) so I used that time to clean out my desk.

Im a free woman everyone! FREE!!

In Memory of my cube. 2006-2010

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Kissing my Butt goodbye.

So I had Calvin 8 months ago (well, ALMOST 8 months, Im cheating by 4 days) and I had not yet stepped foot into a gym since right before I got pregnant. That was 1year and 4 months ago and I wasnt going to a gym. I was doing kickboxing 4 times a week at a hour each session. That was a wonderful workout and I highly suggest you go and sign up for a class. Make sure you do it at a actual martial arts facility though. Your instructor will be some crazy black belt that will make you say "Yah!" and have you picture your boss on the boxing bag as you workout. I found my abs doing kickboxing. Just as fast as I found them, they went bye bye as my stomach started to grow as baby Calvin was like "how about I take that hard work you just did and make myself some ears today? Or maybe some stomach muscles of my own?". He stole my abs. Maybe not stole them, Im sure they are under the gross jello that is now my stomach. I refer to it fondly as "baby front butt". Front butt is what happens to those that have excess amount of fat and skin around their front stomach area and it hangs over almost like your own back butt. I have a small one from when Cal stretched my stomach to abnormal proportions. Its nothing as bad as think it is Im sure, but Im not used to it and my stomach didnt go back to how nice it was like I was hoping it would.

Apparently Im one of those women that will have to work at this. OH JOY!

I did lose a good amount of weight right after having Calvin. Nursing and losing the 25 extra gallons of water weight put me [almost] back to where I was when I got pregnant. Except now I was stretchy. With being stretchy came new questions: do I tuck this in? Can I hike it up and stuff it in my bra? If I put my hair in a pony tail will gravity work in reverse? The answer to all of those questions? NO! I will have to get my butt to the gym and work it off like any other normal person out there. So that made me wonder if I should do the kickboxing thing again or what? The issue with that is, I no longer have the free time as I did before Calvin and there really arent places close to where I now live. So joining a gym would be my best solution. Lucky enough there is a gym right down the street from me and it takes 3 minutes to get there. Plus its open 24/7 so I can go when Monkey is asleep. Anytime fitness is right up my alley:

I met with Lisa the personal trainer they have there today. Told her my background and how I want to get my ass back in gear. I want to tone up, I want to lose weight and be active. Mostly I want to be healthy so my son will have his mother. Plus I know it will make me feel good again and thats important too. So Lisa is like "ok lets get started!". Then she showed me how effortlessly her 120lb lean body could throw around 10lb weights and pull up 40lbs. She made it look soooo easy! My arms were like "what the hell is wrong with you lady? Go home and lift that remote because forget these 10lb weights, youre going to burn and pay for this now".

Not later, but NOW!

Shes like "there you go, you got it, youre SO focused". I was focused, I was trying to concentrate on how not to let my arms fall out of the sockets they are in and onto the floor where they would lay grasping for the remote control. Oh my god am I so out of shape! It makes me sad that my 8month old who rolls around on the floor and goes from toy to toy is probably in better shape then I am. So we do two reps. TWO! Because I dont want to be too sore for my trip home this weekend. I want to be able to do stuff, not sit around only being able to move my head. So she took it easy on me and then we went over a lot of stuff I was already doing (for the most part). Eat more veggies and fruit, eat up to 1600 calories a day to lose 10lbs in 6 weeks, drink more water. All of which I try to do. I lack the discipline. I know I need to be more motivated and I really want to be this time. This gym made me sign a 1yr contract and I dont want that to be money put down the drain so Im going to make it my goal to go at least 3 times a week. Like I said before, its not just for me. I want to be able to keep up with my busy body little man. He deserves a mom who is able to do everything with him. I ate so well when I was pregnant with him to make sure he was healthy. Now its time I do the same for me.

Wish me luck, my remote arm is going to need it!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Skin Diaries

Im almost 28 yrs old. You would figure by this time I would have reached full adulthood. According to my skin, Im a 14 yr old boy who may or may not work in some greasy pizza parlor. I really havent had to deal with my skin in about 10 yrs since I was on lovely hormonal Birth Control. When I was pregnant my skin was AWESOME and I was so hoping it would stay that way. After I had the baby and stopped nursing my skin was all like "hey, remember me? REMEMBER OIL?". Yeah, it reverted back to 1995 when it remembered pimples and oil and GIGANTIC pores that cars could fall into.

Im loving it let me tell you.

Soooooooo Ive tried proactive before and my skin acted just as if it was being washed with water. For a last ditch effort before I go to my dermatologist and ask him for a new skin suit, I decided to try this Skin ID stuff by Neutrogena.

I just started using it last night. I wouldve started using it last week if I wouldve been able to find it. I had been waiting for this to arrive for a week and when tracking it online I saw that it delivered to my front door. Well when I checked outside I was greeted with about 2 feet of snow (we dont use the front door much and with the record snow we had here in Ohio last week, it was just better to let it melt so my husband didnt shovel the porch). So I go to the garage to get the shovel to poke around out front and my husband insists he has already been out there to look for a package he was waiting for and that he didnt notice a package out there before the snow. And since we know husbands are always right, I stopped chopping through the snow and emailed Neutrogena to rip them a new one. "I spent x amount of money on this product and you mustve delivered it to the wrong house so cancel my next orders". Such a nice company says they would be happy to re-send this order out free of charge! I luckily decide to look one last time. GUESS WHAT?? It WAS out on the front porch. The snow is starting to melt here and I could see peaking through in the corner of the porch a very soggy box. MY ORDER! The one my husband insisted couldnt possibly be by the front door because he checked. When I found it, guess who also was on the front porch with me? My lovely husband. Mike--> "Oh". Yeah honey, "OH!!" I love him, so to give him the benefit of the doubt, there WAS about 2 feet of snow. Not his fault. This time.

Anyways, yay I now have a chance to try this crap that Neutrogenas marketing team has so greatly promoted all over the style network. I have a cream cleanser, a Benzoyl peroxide cream, a hydrator and a spot treatment. I was tempted to just use the spot treatment ALL OVER my face because its behaving badly. But I figured I would give it a good try and do it the right way.

The cream cleanser had a slight fresh scent to it and seemed to go on pretty smoothly. I did learn that I will need a separate make up remover though as it left my pretty white Ralph Lauren towels with mascara marks:

Seems to have gotten off all the foundation/blush/bronzer I use so thats good. I was worried it would leave traces of that on my face further hindering it from growing up and out of the teenage angst phase. After the washing I applied the Benzoyl acne treatment and then the hydrator. My skin felt clean and not tight (which I find as a problem with most drug store stuff). Today I did wake up with some dryness so I think Ill just use the acne treatment once a day instead of doing the entire regimen twice a day like it suggests. Im really hoping this helps to make me look less like a 14yr old and more like an adult whos ALMOST 30.

Now only if it would make me look like Hayden Panettiere like Neutrogena indirectly says you could look like if you use their product. Then Id buy the entire company.

It has only been one day.....

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Work Fail

I have a laundry list of reasons why staying at home with drooling babies would be better then being employed by someone else. Another reason? Electronics that arent ANCIENT.

My reasoning behind wanting to be a SAHM (Stay at home mom, not a Shit Ass Ho Mother)

Some feel Im lucky to have a full time job. Especially with the economy blah blah blah crap and the "at least you get out of the house" statements I hear all the time. Its not always unicorns and fairy fart dust. I like the job itself I guess. Its not your normal run of the mill "I work for people who care!" type of job. Its paper. I work in paper. Not pretty paper. Not the kind your kid cuts up to make those heart wrenching cards that you want to hang on the fridge and then put away to you show your kid just how horrible they were with scissors and crayons when they get older type of paper. The plain white paper office max charges too much for. Thats what I do. I sit behind a computer all day and I send out paper stock to magazines and publishers to nit pick over. It can be a very interesting job. Its just the company with whom this job is out-sourced too, sucks. I dont have a labor intensive job (I get up to pee and microwave my Healthy Choice lunch)nor is it rocket science(im not curing Immune deficiency). I put 4 years of [no] hard work and time for poverty wages (I actually googled that and yes its just above poverty wage)and am at my wits end.

One example would be some coworkers and their ability to not us spell check. Ever. If you email something to a corporate company, please learn how to read/write first and then try a few sentences out with maybe a pencil. We have TONS of paper in my warehouse, you can practice for hours if you wanted to. These people make twice and three times as much as I make and yet its so overlooked. This a major pet peeve of mine and my brain doesnt want to read and re-read your stuff over and over again as it tries to figure out how not to EXPLODE or turn to mush. Its the small things in life that bug me at work. DONT get me started on the women in my office who dont change the TP roll in the bathroom. That I will save for a rainy day.

So I get frustrated that I work my butt off AND use spell check and make peanuts and potatoes for wages. I miss my son and the idea of working from home has become so appealing. Im really looking forward to not having to wear makeup and maybe, not deodorant either. Dont know how much my husband would appreciate that though.....


I really should be working.