The Weekend- What I like about you!

We waited a long time to get pregnant and have Calvin. This wasn't because we couldn't get pregnant but because we chose to wait. We were young when we got married and with Mike being in the military we weren't sure where that would take us. So once we were stationed here in Ohio and then after Mike got out of the Air force and got a job here; we kinda figured we would just suck it up and take root here. Then after a few months of "just seeing where it goes" I got pregnant. Before that, with working full time and having a lot of time on our hands to be lazy we never really appreciated the weekends. NOW, now I appreciate them. I work from home but its not like its cake every day. I actually choose to work from home to watch my child as well as other peoples children. I only have two kids during the week (the one I watch and then my son) but the other child, he goes home and then I'm down to my one child. One child is so easy! Two isn't too hard seeing how the kid goes home at 5:30 but it does drain you. Those families who have more then one kid. Man I applaud you.

Don't get me started on those that decide to have MORE then two though. I don't think those parents came home from the delivery room with their brains though so I cant really blame them. I say this a lot (and I read this on a blog that Tom Brady's ex had said about having more then one kid): One is portable, two really isn't. Its true when they are little. There are two more highchairs to need, two more butts to wipe (and the rate my kid poops I sometimes feel that's all I do-wipe butts), double the bib and washcloth laundry, two more bodies to make sure don't get hurt or run into or steal toys from each other. I have two car seats, a double stroller, two diaper bags and DOUBLE the whining. But I don't have two kids. I just run a daycare so I'm able stay sane because in reality I only have one kid. Other peoples children go home. So once the weekend rolls around I'm able to relish that fact.

I wake up when Calvin does on the weekends instead of setting my alarm at 7 to (literally) roll off the bed to take a shower. If I don't shower right away I don't get a chance till around 1:30 and by then the term "gross" isn't something you would use to describe me. I'm able to stumble downstairs in my PJ's and gross hair on the weekend and Calvin doesn't care. Hes just ready to poop and eat and play. In that order. Then hes ready for nap around 10am and where during the week I watch a child that doesn't take a morning nap and actually have to you know, pay attention to; the weekend nap I can SHOWER!!! Yes I shower during the week but its a in and out shower. Weekend nap time showers are glorious! Today I was able to shave! Ahhhh shaving! There are times I joke to my sister in-law (whose blog you can read here: http://mommys-secret-hideaway.blogspot.com/) that I find ten dollar bills and my lost lip gloss when I shave because its been that long. I can do my makeup after the shower too! During the week its mascara and chap stick. SO glamorous! Today I was able to use moisturizer and eyeshadow and blush. I love makeup so actually getting to use it is like actually having enough room to eat desert after a meal out. You take one taste of that brownie pie and think "wow, I should forgo that stupid vegetable and save room to eat you more often!". Thats almost how I feel on the weekend. Like I should set my alarm during the week a few minutes early so I can actually use this seasons eyeshadow I bought from Mac. ALMOST. Then I think about how in reality I just stay at home all day anyways and the other stay at home moms who are out at the zoo really aren't noticing my "hazy moon" eyeshadow and sleep in those extra 15 minutes. So I forget about makeup till the weekend. Then it greats me with a great big smile and then criticizes my lack of grooming. Thats OK, its only two days a week. I can handle the criticism.

Right now Calvin is taking a extra long morning nap and Im able to sit on the couch and do some writing while the hubby watches a "Ghost Busters" movie. We really appreciate the quiet time on the weekends now. So much in fact Im thinking of making it part of the family.

It can even have the guest room and the last cookie.

Come on Hurricane Earl!

This summer has been one of the hottest summers in the past 7yrs that I can remember. Ohio has mild winters and hot summers and this summer was no exception to the hot. I call it blazing inferno, hotter then hell, hell itself, etc... It stopped raining too and my grass literally like hay. Its real crunchy and yellow and the only thing surviving is the weeds. They stick out like a sore thumb and even though we have the grass treated for them they still manage to over run the lawn. I'm a firm believer the reason why the neighbors behind us put up a fence was to shield themselves from our backyard. Or what I'd like to call it- The lawn those lazies do nothing about. That's really what it comes down to. We are just lazy. I have good intentions to one day go out there and pull weeds but like I said, we live in hell. So the thought of going outside in 100* weather with gloves to pull weeds in dirt where there are bugs and prickly things just doesn't make me want to be less lazy.

Id rather sit on the couch. Where I am right now.

We have a lawn person come once a month to cut the hay and chop down the weeds that grew to my height. I could actually see them starting to hit the kitchen window and was like WOW we are those people. The ones that bring down property values in the neighborhood. Im really surprised that the HOA doesn't give us a citation and say "Hey you lazies, get off your ass and pull a friggin weed or at least plant some grass seed!". Since the lawn guy came and finally cut down all those weeds nothing really has sprouted up to that extreme (yet) because its been so dry. The weather forecasters said we only got about 1.5" of rain ALL August. How horrible is that? That's why my lawn looks like a feeding ground for the local farm animals. When Hurricane Earl was supposed to come and, HOLY CRAP HIT THE EAST COAST, I thought for sure we would get lucky over here and get some effects of it. Too bad its been knocked down to a small storm and we probably wont get any remains our way. The wind did blow in and I did get excited that rain was coming in.

It did rain. For 1.5 seconds. Kinda like the rain fall for August. Maybe we could just remove all the grass and put concrete in. Way to get my hopes up Hurricane Earl.

Much to do about nothing.

Lately I feel like my brain has officially left the building. Im a normally social being that feels the need to broadcast life happenings daily but for the past few weeks I feel as if I don't have anything to say. *GASP*

Nothing. To. Say.

Hear that awkward silence? Thats what it sounds like when I sit at the keys all ready to write down some funny blurbs when all that comes out is dust and the occasional moth.

I mean, being a stay at home is glamorous. We get to wear velor track suits and zoom around in our SUVs! We get to jam our feet on the latch of the stroller to fold it back up but find out that since its a new stroller you don't quite KNOW where all the latches are. So standing in the parking lot of the childrens hair cutters you know you're being watched (AND judged) by the other moms because you parked in the family parking area they have and all the moms can see you out the window. You jiggle the stroller, check the breaks, fold the rain cover, shake it some more, swear at it, yell at it for being expensive but cant figure out why cause IT WONT EVEN FOLD BACK UP! Then you contemplate just throwing the entire thing unfolded into the back of your SUV so you can just get the hell out of the parking lot. Thats when you find the magical latch that folds it up so effortlessly and WHAM you're all happy with it again. Till the next time you need to fold it up and you're forgotten how the latches work. Its very difficult learning this part of the job and there was not "Maclaren stroller 101" I could take before Calvin was born. So now I just hope I look half way decent out there "learning" in my sweats.

I was supposed to meet with some potential parents later this evening so we could go over my policies for my daycare. They were set to enroll their son with me starting next Tuesday but apparently Daycare De Erin is no competition for the big chains so they have decided to stick with where they are. Apparently loving one on one care is less then stellar compared to a keyed security system and the potential for lice/chicken pox/neglect and a offer they "couldn't refuse". But, whatever. I'm not bitter. Back to the drawing board and that just gives me more time with the two I have now.

Summer is getting ready to wrap up around the states that aren't currently blanketed in 100* weather (we are one of those lucky hot states)and I'm looking to forward to fall. SO FORWARD to it. I'm usually a nut job for Halloween anyways and this year Calvin will be older to experience it too. He gets to see how crazy his mother is about this time of year. I bet Im the only one on the block that owns her own fog machine. Yes, I love Halloween THAT much!. Thats the next thing to look forward to over here.

Exciting, I know!

Sealed to lock in freshness

Last week I opened the fridge to get some milk for Calvin and I just kinda stood there for a second as my brain tried to figure out what I was seeing.



My husband, the man who is obsessed with things going bad or losing their freshness put his can of Jones pop in a ziplock bag.

I guess I should applaud him for not wasting it and dumping it down the drain.

Your modern day Hansel and Gretel.

Some children leave a trail of bread crumbs, my child leaves a trail of Milk. Wheres Calvin? Just follow the trail and youre bound to find him sticking his fingers in something thats going to be sticky and/or get him into trouble. Today it was around the cats bowls.

Beautiful Day

I know Ive posted about the sunrise here before but today Calvin and I were in his room hanging out snuggling in his glider enjoying some quiet time before the day begins; when we took a minute to look out the window. This week is one of the first weeks of broken heat and humidity in over a month and there is no haze covering the sky. With staying home all day I sometimes forget that there is a front door to my house that leads to OUTSIDE. Sometimes its just so beautiful out there.

King size

I figured when Mike and I would decide to have a baby this baby would be a tall one. I was hoping my short 5'4" frame would offset Mikes 6'7" but looks like his genetics won in that game. Right before I went into labor I was at my OB's office having one of my many ultrasounds and I remember her "hmmmm....his legs measure very long". When I told her my husband was very tall she was all like "I was going to ask and that explains it!". Because with looking at the short fat lady on the ultrasound table we both knew he wasnt tall because of me. My family is full of oompa loompas, not jolly green giants. This was one of the reasons why I wanted a boy so bad (along side the fact that boys are awesome and love their mommys), a tall boy is easier to marry off then a tall girl.

I just hope his wife knows its going to be hard sleeping in a bed with a guy who has to sleep on a diagonal in order to fit on it.

Building a fortress.

The neighbors directly behind us are putting up a fence. We dont really know them and I think I said hi to the lady once. I do know they have crazy fights (this one time her husband was yelling at her in the middle of the street while she tired to not hit her Jag on the cars outside of the garage) and that they have a disabled son with whom they constantly yell at when hes out back mowing their lawn. Our backyard goes up on a hill and then slopes down to their yard so its nice they are putting up this fence. It saves us the money to do so (we would never put in one anyways cause we just dont care) and we dont get to watch her sunbathe in her kiddie pool while we eat dinner at our kitchen table. It wouldnt be so bad if she was you know, a 21 yr old.

Suffocating.

We lived in Louisiana 7 years ago and it was hotter then hell there too. Ohio is kinda like that. Full of rednecks, bad food and HOT ass weather. 97* at 7pm is not my ideal. The west coast looks better and better every day.

One day...

Calvin and Hobbes.

Growing up Mike and I both loved "Calvin and Hobbes" books. When I mean loved, I mean LOVED them. They were a big part of our childhoods and I can remember reading my 1st on in the 5th grade and laughing like a jackass. Till this day I still laugh and I credit a lot of my wit to Bill Watterson . For our 10yr anniversary mike bought me the collectors edition of the books that are now displayed on our dresser like a piece of art. While I respect Watterson's decision to not mass market his art that left people like us always pining for a Hobbes stuffed animal or toy; we too wanted to be like 6yr old Calvin and his stuffed tiger. We named Calvin after, you guessed it, the comic and we all know that Calvin needs his Hobbes. So Mike went to Etsy.com and had one made.

Calvin and Hobbes








And yes I know we are THOSE parents. Good luck Cal, you cant pick whom youre born to. Sorry kiddo.

10 years!

Mike and I made it to our 10 year wedding anniversary on Wednesday the 28th. A pretty good accomplishment for two people who arent even 30 yet. Of course we have been through pretty much every crappie thing a married couple can be through but I chalk that up to a lot of stupid stuff young people do. Mike and I love each other very much but always say that no one should get married till they are 25 years old and above. This way you get all your selfish party "Im an adult and I can do what I want and who cares that youre in a relationship with me" ways. By that age you should be somewhat accomplished in your life and figure out who you are and what you want from your life. Mike and I are there too, but we kinda grew up with each other and then got there. Now we are on the same page with everything pretty much. We both want one kid, want to one day move home but know that may not happen and maybe want to move some where coastal (we really like the water) in a few years, want our son to have a good life, want to be relaxed and drama free and rely on each other as we have been doing for so long.

It wasnt always this way though. We toyed awhile with even having a child. Especially since we live far from family and knew that it may be kinda selfish to have a child and not have their family around for them to know. Also, we have no help with family being away so that was a big thing. Being financially secure was a plus as Mike was still in the military and we lived in a small base house when we really considered what life would be like with a child. So we wanted to be sure we could afford a kid even though no one can ever afford a kid. Or themselves most of the time. Mike and I also wanted to be secure with each other. We didnt want to bring a child into this world and then rip his heart out with a divorce. With all the crap you go through in any relationship, unlike the movies, its not always roses. Theres a lot of dust and bugs and piles of crap along the way that either make you break you. For us, it made us stronger I think.

Mike is my foundation, walls and roof. I honestly dont know how my life would be with out him. Not because hes the main bread winner but because he really is my other half. We both have so much in common now and like to do the same things (as well as do things separately) that everything seems to flow smoothly. Im pretty sure he feels the same way too. I trust him 100% and he bends over backwards to make sure Calvin has everything he needs and that I can stay home and not put Calvin in a cruddy daycare (not knocking it for those who have to but I dont want to have to do that). Mike is a strong man with whom I always feel safe with and I know will defend me to the death. Hes an amazing father who loves his son and took to him like neither of us expected. Mike supports me and gives me piece of mind and always reassures the fact that Im being a good wife and mother.

I find now that I worry more about his safety then if hes going to find another women. If he does find another women then she better know how to clean and if so then I dont mind handing him over to her once and awhile. I kid, I kid. She better know how to cook too.

Mikes in Vegas for the next 5 days for some computer hacker convention thats supposed to be the biggest one they have all year. Hence the big deal in Vegas. Last year he couldnt go because I just spent 9 months gestating our son and then another 24hrs to push the almost full grown kid out. This year our big 10yr anniversary was the day before the Vegas fun times was going to begin. He really didnt push to go and I didnt think much of it. We thought money wise we wouldnt be able to swing it too so it was out of the question really. Then Mike was telling me about how all his buddies and coworkers were going and then it hit me. This may be the only chance he gets to go with so many people for such a good time. Ive been telling him for a bit to get his brother and cousin together and go to Vegas but they are busy with their own lives in NY and who knows if that would ever happen. So as I was talking to him on gmail chat, 'cause thats how married we are-we use gmail chat to talk about big things, I told him if we could swing it then he needs to go. A few minutes later his ticket was booked and he was a happy camper. I told him that could be my big anniversary gift to him. I already went two years ago for a girls weekend so it was high time he went for his "Bros" weekend. He deserves a weekend with the guys playing and drinking and experiencing Vegas. The only stipulation was he had to try and be safe. No getting into fights or getting mugged. The plane had to take off and land without a incident and Id be perfectly calm. Also stories. He always ends up having the best stories. Even if its a night out with his buds at a local strip club he comes home with the best stories. So I figured its Vegas, he should have some awesome ones! I was excited for him and it made me remember the parts of Vegas I could remember too. I know he will have a blast.

After 10yrs of putting up with me he deserved some time in a different time zone on a vacation that didnt consist of schedules around a nap time. Mike and I really never took vacations (which is beyond us because now that we have Calvin we look at our former selves as morons) nor had a honeymoon. We woke up on a Friday and said "hey lets get married today!" and then two days later mike had to go back to work. He was Military when we got married so its not like he had the freewill to do what he wanted when he wanted. And all our "vacations" were back home to NY because we were stationed in Louisiana and didnt know better. Now that we are older and wiser we know we shouldve went to Hawaii or anywhere that was out of our time zone. This is 10yrs experience talking though. When youre 18 youre stupid so its not like our brains were fully functioning yet.

The past 10yrs have been a big learning experience in which we both grew and grew together. I couldnt imagine having this life with anyone else and I hope we are lucky enough to hit our 50yr and beyond anniversary.

I love you honey and heres to 50 more!



(Our little cake I had made for us since we didnt have one at our wedding)

Calvin turns 1!

Calvin turned 1 on July 1st (yes I know, I know its been almost a month since his birthday but weve been busy folks)and I always said time went by fast, but BOY DID TIME GO BY FAST!!

In his first year Ive learned many things. Ive learned a love that I never thought possible and a emptiness from loss filled. He is my heart, moon, stars, sky and universe. In his 1st year my life has become something I never thought it would be. I always thought about children, wanted children and knew life would be great with a child. Calvin has exceeded all my expectations of what a child would be to me and what me as a mother could be. I look at him and all the stars align and anything bad that has ever happened in my life has been erased because those things have brought me to him. With losing a parent you feel as if that love, the love youve had so deeply and maternally is gone and you would never have that again. With Calvin though, its like Ive had that second chance at that level of love. I love my husband and family like nothing else, and Calvin is the icing on the cake. My life is finally complete.

To Calvin, whos heartbeat I heard at 12 weeks pregnant gave me such a rush I felt like light was going to burst out of my heart; YOU are the reason why we are here. To love and be loved.

We celebrated Calvins 1st.birthday in our home town of Buffalo NY on Saturday July 3rd. My grandparents rented a shelter at Losson park so I could invite all of our family and friends to share in the big deal. Shelter 7 to be exact and it was home to many of MY parties growing up too. When I first pulled up to the shelter I stood there looking at it for a long time. My grandma didnt purposely reserve that shelter because she thought it had any meaning or remembered we had my parties there so she didnt know any different. But as I was hauling all the crap I packed from Ohio to bring to the park I stood and looked at that shelter and smiled. Its like I could stand there and see parties we had at that shelter whizzing by me. A bittersweet moment for me as I knew my mother wouldnt be here to celebrate Calvins big day with us. My entire family though was there. That was amazing. Its been a long time since all of my family and old friends have been together. Now Mikes whole family has been subjected to my family too and they still actually want to see us! I kid, I kid.

My brother manned the grill while my father kept score on the sidelines. My uncle Mark and Aunt Heather made sure my grandmother could get a ride to the park so she could be there. Friends of my mothers, neighbors of my fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents all showed up to eat, drink and watch Calvin shovel half of his cake into his mouth like banana cream frosting was going extinct.

This is home. Calvin has an amazing family and Im very happy we could do that for him. Mike and I are very lucky to have all the people in our lives that we do and now Calvin gets to reap the joy. Everyone has made his 1st birthday something I will always remember and can look back on and tell him about. He wont remember that day, but we have plenty of pictures and cards and he has parents who can fill him in on it.

People always say "its a 1st birthday, the kid isnt going to remember it so why make a big deal?". Well Calvin is a big deal to ME. Life with Calvin is a big deal and I want him to have anything he can get from this life. Any memory, any story, and any chance at knowing his family, friends and all loved ones is a big deal.

I want him to have many, MANY birthdays. This first one was super special though. This one signified the first year he spent grabbing hold of my heart and shooting it into the world.

This past year is dedicated to you Calvin,



Let there be cake!

Re-newed appreciation.

The day to day life of a SAHM can be tedious.

7am Shower, listen to Calvin squawking through the monitor.
7:10am Dry off, dress and shove in contacts all at the same time.
7:11am Listen to Stimpy and Moxie meow and try to kill me by rubbing on my legs and feet. YES, I know, everyone is happy mommy is up!
7:15am Run into Calvins room and see he threw everything out of his bed and smells a bit like a farm.
7:16am YAY POOP DIAPER!
7:18am Wrestle with flailing baby to get all the embedded poop off of his butt.
7:23am No more poop till 9am
7:25am Go downstairs and "Open shop". Turn on lights, open blinds, feed crying cats and get Cals breakfast going. Or it will be the end of the world.
8:00am Clean up kiddo from the entire produce section he just ate and waffles/pancakes. This kid is the meaning of "eating us out of house and home".
8:00-8:30am David arrives!
8:30am David poops!
8:30am-9:30am Kiddos play. Their drug of choice lately is anything Ball. "Hey even though I have that ball in my hand right now but in blue I want the one you have in orange!"
9:00am Listen as Cal stops what hes doing to grunt his way to a new Poop.
9:05am Cal needs a new diaper.
9:30am Break up a ball fight
9:30am Calvin usually needs a nap. Put Calvin down and wrestle with him to take a nap. Listen to him cry through the monitor and hope he falls asleep. 75% of the time he goes to sleep, 25% he cries and cries and I have to go and get him. Then its more fighting for a ball.
10:00am-10:30am Calvin gets up and its snack time! Calvins favorite time of day is any time that involves food.
10:30am Gobble up goldfish crackers, whine for a 4 course meal.
10:45am Art! Or anything else on the plan such as books,flash cards,ABCs etc... A trip to the park, museum, or my favorite; TARGET!!
11:45am-12:00pm Arrive home from our destination and get ready for lunch. Listen as Calvin cries at my feet for food that shouldve been ready rightthissecond! Hes deprived.
12:30pm Clean up from lunch and kiddos run off some steam by playing. With? A BALL or one of the bowls from the pots and pans cabinet.
1:00pm-4:00pm David naps
1:00pm-2:00pm Calvin naps
2:00pm Get Calvin up, play, do some laundry. Wish I was napping.
3:00pm Calvin snack time (AGAIN)
4:00pm David gets up
4:15pm Davids snack time. Calvins time to whine for Davids snack.
4:30pm Music,book,puzzle,bubbles, end of the day entertainment.
5:30pm David goes home, start dinner. Try and be as fast as I can or Calvin will whine and cry like he hasnt eaten all day.
6:00pm Eat
6:30pm-7:30pm Entertain a whining toddler because he refused to take longer then a hour nap and has been up since 2
7:30pm Bathtime. Splash, throw toys out of the tub, stand and want to walk around in the bubbles, drink the bath water.
8:00pm Kiddo is asleep!!
8:00pm-8:30pm Clean up destroyed house. Sanitize.
8:30pm Sit down for the first time that day and relax OR go to the gym. Id much rather relax so that is why its taken me since December to drop just under 10lbs.
10:00pm ready for bed!
10:00pm and 30 seconds LIGHTS OUT and mommas passed out.

Now this is how my day at my old job was. The one where they screwed me:

7:30am-6:00pm THIS JOB SUCKS AND I WANT TO SCREAM ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY AND WISH THE DUMP WOULD BURN DOWN TO A PILE OF ASHES.

All. Day.

Yesterday I saw that one of my old co-workers is currently on vacation. This means they are down a person and have to do that co-workers work too. If I was still there that means it wouldve mostly fallen on me. It was a great reminder that I get to stay at home all day with my Son and play and teach him new things. Yesterday for instance, he walked over to where I have the bubbles on the shelf and said "bubble! bubble!". I taught him that and because of me hes growing and learning and thriving. Made my day. Also knowing that my old job was having a rough week and I was here, in my home, snuggling with my love all day made me smile. REAL big.

I love this life. There is nothing more I want to be doing then exactly what Im doing right now.

No more Big Brother!

We still keep tabs on Calvin with a baby monitor. This helps for when Im downstairs and he wakes up from a nap and starts squawking for me to come get him rightthissecond! Yesterday I was down on the couch during his nap (taking a minute to sit while I waited for the lady to pick up bottles) and I heard the monitor go to static. This means the channel has been changed and could mean only one thing: Calvin was up and he found the base to his monitor that was UNDER his bed.

>

Yup. I ran up there and he had the cord (very safe!) in his hand and was pulling up the base of the monitor. If he was mad we were keeping tabs on him I dont know. Its only the beginning kid, you will ALWAYS be monitored.

"All that fur is strictly Ornamental"

I think of this quote I read in "Calvin and Hobbes" every time I see one of the cats laying in the sun. Yeah we keep the AC on in the house cause its 97degrees outside but its not SNOWING in our house. Sheesh.

A few things to consider.

Over the past year and half I have learned some very important things that I shouldve done before I got pregnant and had Calvin. Heres my list:

1) Cherish the new things you bought.

*This includes that new T-Shirt that cost you more then 7 bucks and still has that "I dont have a kid that pulls/spits up/uses it as a tissue" crispness to it. Once you have a kid, all your stuff belongs to them. That new T-shirt will only be new from the time you pull it over the baby front butt while walking from the pile of clothes on the floor to the screaming kids bedroom. Once there you will find that the kid has either boogers running down their face from crying so hard cause you didnt get them the second they started squawking or the kid will be covered in poo. Those bodily fluids will then become a permanent fixture on that "new" shirt you HAD on. At that one time. For 3.5 seconds.

2) Have a high maintenance hair style.

*One that requires more then a quick run through the shower early in the morning. One where you remember to actually RINSE out the shampoo and say "hey I think Ill give conditioner a try today too!". Try a new hair style that requires the use of products and a blow dryer along with a straightner, curling iron and a small comb to tease. Right after Calvin I gave in and got the "mom hair". Short and simple and now I just use shampoo (on a GOOD day) and let it air dry where I then pull it up into a bun/pony tail that was popular when I first started highschool. 15yrs ago. Thats a MILF right there let me tell you.

3)Wear trendy makeup. Or any make up at all.

*I would so have raided the Mac counter EVERY SINGLE season if I wouldve known to. That new peacock look they are sporting this season? IM SO THERE!! 15 eyeshadows and 3 different eyeliners at once? Sign me up! Moisturizer, primer, foundation, concealer, bronzer, powder and photo finish dusting? I HAVE A HOUR SURE!! Now, after that 3 second shower that I sometimes forgot to use soap in, Im lucky if I have time to put on Mascara. The other day I noticed I had a wrinkle on my forehead. Great, like I have time to add something else to the list of things I should be tending too: Find a wrinkle filler that can also double as a acne fighter. Cause yes, I have BOTH now. Lucky me.

4)Be late to work a few times a month.

* I learned this AFTER I had Calvin. I say this because I was let go at my job under the pretenses that I "no longer had my head in the game". This being said, just be lazy off the bat like the rest of your coworkers. Show up later then most. Instead of being the 1st late person, be the 3rd! This way when you do have a kid and youre late cause you know, your nursing another life, or tending to another helpless life or dreaming of a DIFFERENT life (one that involved sleep and proper grooming habits). You can work on that extensive hairstyle and makeup routine you have going on if that gives you the edge to be late. No one will be surprised how your numbers have fallen and you wont be let go. Even though you did twice as much work as the next person. Who was there for more then 10 yrs but still sat there with a blank look while you tried to explain for the 7th time that day how to ctrl+T to open a new tab. In IE.

5) Be lazy. This can also go hand in hand with #4.

*Its Saturday! Yay a break from the work week where you have no obligations but maybe to figure out if youd like to go back to that dream about being a millionaire and living on some beach (PRE-oil spill) or getting up to go downstairs and catch up on all that DVR crap you have while dozing off till noon still in your pjs. Right now weekdays flow into weekends. The only difference for me is that I have one less kid on the weekends cause "Day care de Erin" is closed. You dont want to shower? AWESOME, dont! Because you choose not to shower, not cause you dont have time. You dont want to brush your teeth? Well, on second thought, please brush your teeth if thats the only thing you do that day. You cant do much for stinky poo breath.

6) Take long lunches. Again, can go hand in hand with #4 and #5.

*You have a hour for lunch? Awesome! Take a hour and half. Get out for a drive with the music blaring. Go stroll at the mall sans a stroller, diaper bag and the retracing of steps to look for that shoe the kid magically pried off his foot and then probably tossed out in the parking lot BEFORE you got into the mall. I love working from home but I dont really get much of a lunch break. My day is from 7am to 8pm 7 days a week. Where I love it and am happy I can be lucky enough to stay at home and have my own business I do sometimes miss the trips to the bookstore or naps in my car Id take when I had that bend over job. SOMETIMES. Most of the time Im just really REALLY happy I dont have that Bend. Over. Job.

7) Take random naps.

*I love peoples advice when I was pregnant "Sleep now cause once the baby comes you will miss it". NO SHIT!! If I hear a person say that to a pregnant mom Im gonna beat them with my two ton diaper bag. How about instead of saying that opt to give the expectant mom a coupon book full of "this is good for one nap, I will come over and watch your kid so you can take a nap". Be sure its a thick coupon book too and thats its available for ANY TIME. Like at 3am and then again at 5am. THATS what I wouldve loved to have at my shower. A bunch of coupon books for sleep. Id be using one right now if I could. So before a kid, take a nap. Do it now. I dont care if youre at your desk or driving a cab. This way when youre up at 3am and you get into that delirious giddy/crying mood you can daydream back to when you used to nap.

8)Read more.

*And not just internet reading. Digg.com and mommy blogs aside, get to the store/library and read a actual book. I dont care if its the entire series of "The babysitters Club". Right now I have time to browse other moms blogs who in turn have time to write in one sentence blurbs on twitter "Im SO TIRED!!".

9) Marvel at how thin you are RIGHT NOW!

*Every day you wake up and think "Man I could be a lot thinner or toner" am I right? Yeah well go up to the mirror right this second and look at how even though you think your tummy jiggles now, it doesnt jiggle half as much as it will once you pop out your beloved. I look at older photos of myself and think about how even at the time those were taken I thought I looked like crap. Well, those dont hold a candle to how I look now! Ahhh the fruits of my labor....

10) Build a "More then 4 beers tolerance"

*I cant drink more then 2 beers before I start to "feel" it and become all buzzed. Seriously, I was at the Reds game a few weeks ago with my girlfriends and I had two beers before I was out! I mean, I used to be able to do pretty good with my "drink of choice". Now, man now I can just smell a beer (light beer at that!) and be all "wheeee is that a moms gone wild van ahead?" (I kid, Im way past that stage). So I say go out and try all kinds of yummy drinks. Be the one that can hold her own! Right now Im lucky if I can hold a wine glass after half a glass.

11) Print up photos.

*It took me 15 yrs to frame a family photo of My mom, dad, brother and I. Not because I didnt want to but because I either forgot to, couldnt find the photos or didnt have any printed up. We have TONS of photos taken of family over the past 10 yrs that we havent printed up. They sit on one of the millions of computers we have in the house or tucked away on some portable hard drive. I went parasailing one year with the hubby in Panama city FL. Does anyone know this? No. Do I remember this? NO! I need to locate them and print them up. Calvin needs to be able to see photos of family and friends right? No! Mommy needs a friggin nap.

12) Listen to R-Rated music.

*You know that new Eminem Album that came out? Well, listen to it at the gym buddy cause thats the only time youll feel comfortable listening to it. In the car I feel kinda guilty for listening to "f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid" in the car with your 1 yr old in tow. You think "man shouldnt I be listening to wiggles or something that has ABC's in it?". You know eventually he will be listening to way worse then this in 14yrs but you think his first word should be "mommy" and not "bitch".

Once youve completed this list then you and your Significant other (or sperm bank book) can try the fun (tedious)task of trying to conceive a new life that will bring you nothing but love and joy. To be honest with you though, I dont really miss all of that stuff. I love Calvin way more then I love sleep.

MOST of the time...

Bye bye bottle.

Over the past month and half I had been slowly weaning Calvin off the bottle. I started with getting rid of his lunch time bottle and then moving to dinner. That lasted a good 3 weeks. I wanted to wait till after his trip home (more on the trip soon)for his 1st birthday to get rid of the morning one and the evening one. I was hoping by this time he would be pretty used to the sippy cups and the transistion wouldnt be so painful. I didnt want Calvin to be that kid. The kid whos mouth was still plastered to the bottle, the kid whos old enough to speak (or grunt, point, whine...)and/or GO TO COLLEGE. You see those kids. The ones who are 2 or 3 and throw fits if they dont get their bottle. You also know that you secretly judge too.

You: "Wow, Allison really likes her bottles huh?" (All while thinking Really? Shouldnt a 3yr old be helping with dishes and not wanting to tell you she needs to be on level 7 flow nipples?)

Allisons Mom: "Yeah, well, shes just REALLY attached and we cant bare to see her cry for it"

You:"Yeah I know, I heard it can be difficult for some children to wean. I mean my 3 yr old son still likes sponge bob!" Chuckle Chuckle

Allisons Mom; "We keep saying we need to do it this weekend but then we get busy and its just easier to give her a bottle"

You:"Yeah we just did it over a period of time. It was difficult at first but after a bit he got the hang of it and right after he was one he was all done (a small twinge of smugness.) We didnt want him to have his own apartment BEFORE he gave up the bottle."

Allisons Mom:"Yeah, she will tell us when shes ready..."

You: (Thinking now Allisons mom still probably nurses her 13yr old son too) "Yeah, eventually she will be right there with the rest of her peers...."(OR she can just trade up the formula shes probably still on for beer once she hits college!)

Allisons Mom:"Well shes really advanced in picture books, the doctor thinks she could be a educator!(Drinks more wine)

You: (Drinks more wine)"Yup, its good to tell her she can be whatever she wants to be when she gets older!" (All while thinking, as long as she wants to live in her childhood bedroom till shes 35....)

Both: SMILE, show all clenched teeth and SMILE

So with all that being said, we have successfully weaned the kid off the bottle. Ok, not SUCCESSFULLY yet. He still stands at the dishwasher all while whining "Bo..BO!" and giving me this sad little "why do you hate me" look that makes me want to dig up the bottles and throw them on the floor and say "Here you go kid, roll around in them, kiss them, dance around them for all I care". But I care more about how my parenting looks to the other Judges (moms) then if Calvin is mentally distraught. Thats a lie. I care about his development, his teeth and his independence. Even if that means hes no longer a baby. Even if that means I cried as I put the bottles in a box.

Tomorrow a lady is coming to pick them up to give to her cousin. I put a add on Craigslist for someone to come and get them. This is it kiddo, you can no longer plead your case, they will be long gone.

That is until his college years. Then he will see A LOT of bottles. A lot of awful smelling couches too, Im sure.

Curse of the Audi.

We are a family of foreign car owners. Ive had two Audi's, a Mazda and a Nissan. Mike has had two BMWs and shared in the copulation of my Audi's, Mazda and Nissan. Its not like we arent for America or anything. We really are, we've even owned a few [redneck] firebirds and camaros! America is beautiful and one day we would love to live in Canada. This being said, most of the time these foreign cars that we have so blindly purchased have sucked. Mostly my Audi's. Its like Germany wanted to play a cruel joke that they "knew nothing about" on an American and that American was me. They secretly made my cars foreign spys and Im sure the hidden cameras have hours of footage of me yelling and swearing and then probably picking my nose. My Audis were like that beautiful Russian spy they just caught. All pretty and innocent with long flowing hair and with enough cleavage to distract you from that, oh wait what was I just talking about.....

Anyways, yes my Audis blew. It all started with a nice Audi A4. A 4 door practical vehicle with just enough pretty to satisfy my "look at me" facade while driving back and forth to a job that blew a little worse then my car. It was blue and shiny and had nice assets. Till winter when I (the former Buffalonian!) drove it into a ditch about 50 feet from my bend over job. Then I screwed up the front end and I had a nice little story that I was the butt end of at work. "Hey Erin, the lady from BUFFALO, remember when you drove your car into a ditch? Hahahaha well you better be going now cause someone sneezed and it looks like snow on the ground!" Yeah,well, HA HA HA! Hope all of you bastards are enjoying STILL HAVING TO WORK AT BLOW ME CENTRAL. HA HA.

God my old job sucked.

Well eventually we traded that Audi in for, you guessed it, ANOTHER Audi. This time a cute little 2 door sports car.



Yeah isnt it just Darling up there on a tow truck? Uh huh it sure is! The 4 yrs we owned it (I call it "it" because I firmly believe it was cursed and would figure out ways to piss me off by breaking and bleeding us dry)was hell. The first week we had it, we drove it up to Buffalo to visit family and on the way back some oil think broke and cost us my first born (her name was Angela and I wonder what she is up to nowadays...). We fixed it and ever since then its been one bend over after another (kinda like my old job! Huh. Those two should've hooked up and could've had a brainstorming session on how to screw me over more). We knew we needed to sell it but really didn't have much of a push. Then tada! I got all pregnant and stuff and we really had to sell it (more like panic). 2 years later and with a 1yr old now, we still had the stupid bitch. At this point, after putting thousands of dollars into it, I was convinced that it would be Calvin's first car. It hogged my spot in the garage and every time I went out there I would whisper "I hate you" and I swear it would spit at me!

Who would want a angry car that spat at you? Its like owning a monkey that throws its crap at you. Kinda cute until you're the one getting hit with the crap and then having to clean it up. NO ONE WANTS A CRAP THROWING MONKEY. And no one wanted the TT.

Until some nice man came along and bought it for his 16 yr old son. By now though the entire car is all nice and fixed and pretty and wont break until the 16yr old wraps it around a tree.

I will never own another Audi unless that is, we are millionaires and money is like rain to us. This way we can afford all the bull that comes with owning one instead of daydreaming what it would be like to drive the car off the hill in our neighborhood. Ive actually had this daydream MORE then once. I would imagine it shooting off the hill in a fireball as I fired M16 bullets that I somehow obtained from the gun store down the street. All while maniacally screaming and with beads of sweat falling down my face.

I bet I could get a movie deal out of this....

My niece

When we went home for Calvins 1st Birthday I had to shoot over to my brothers to see my niece and nephew. Like rightthatsecond! McKenzie is 16 months already and is absolutely beautiful. Those bubble gym eyes are amazing and I cant get over what a mix of my brother and sister in-law she is. I can honestly say Ive never seen a little girl more beautiful then my niece. My brother is screwed.

Summer memories.

Now that I have Calvin every once and a while I will get a flashback to when I was a child. Like the smell of watermelon reminds me of when my mother would always have that cut up in the fridge for us to have. Or when I lift Calvin out of his car seat when at the park. I remember mom taking me to the park. I feel like my life has come full circle. Ive always missed my mom, always looked for her in others and now see the parts of her that come out in me. I wonder, did she look at me and my brother the way I look at Calvin? Did she have this overwhelming drive to try and be a decent mom because she was a role model for others? Did her heart feel like it would explode into a million pieces every time one of us kids gave her a kiss? Id like to think those answers are yes. I picked losson park in NY for Calvin's first bday. We had my birthdays there a lot when I was a kid and I vividly remember this one time driving with her to that park and looking up at the sky to see a butterfly shaped cloud. I have amazing summer memories (and everyday memories) with my mother. Hope Calvin can one day say he has the same.

Some mushy advice:

Make memories because you never know when that memory can mean the world to the person you share it with.

Skip right to hell.

Im a firm believer that Ohio is A FIRERY PIT OF HELL. We didnt have a spring, went right from winter to blazing inferno. Its muggy and hot and my fake tan feels like its going to melt off of me. YAY for summer though! I wait all year for it to get here so I can find excuses to go outside other then to shop. This year is even more awesome as now I have Calvin to take places like the zoo and swimming. Dont even remind me of last summer where I was pregnant and hot and huge and cranky and did I mention, CRANKY! Now Im just hot. A little cranky sometimes too but I chalk that up to left over hormones hahaha.

Its not so bad though, Id rather have this hot then live back home in Buffalo with the winters. We will never move back home. I couldnt take the 9 months of snow. You laugh but Im being for real. Sorry Buffalo, I hate to say this, but Ohio grew on me.

Even if it is the Fire pit of Hell.

Got Junk?

Damn it we need to have a garage sale.

No my house isnt like a episode of Hoarders where I need an army of people to come in and sort through years of crap and mental anguish. Well maybe I do need someone to help with the mental anguish but thats another post all together. I get anxiety over things being messy so when we bought our house and moved all the stuff I had in the basement of our townhouse to the basement of our nice new house I almost had a slight breakdown. The men who helped move (who by the way were AWESOME and we couldnt have done it without them cause with toting a then 3month old I was basically useless) put all of our crap we will never use, use on occasion, or dont know what to do with all over the basement in one big pile. I used to never know where to start when it came to organizing it so I would ignore that part of the house but one day after changing the cat litter I finally had enough and tornadoed through it in 2hrs.

Now I have organized piles of decorations, baby stuff, a section of "Mikes junk that I dont know what to do with" and a section of yardsale crap. Stuff people bought us years ago, or hand me down Nick Nacks, maternity clothes (no more kids for me thanks) and other stuff that I no longer want or want to look at. I saved some sentimental things but for the most part, if I havent used it in a year its out the door. I unpacked crap that had Louisiana news paper from 2003! Yeah, sorry grandma, those mugs you gave us that we have no use for are going outside on the lawn with a 25cent sticker on it. Appreciate your thought though.

Im thinking of Calvin here. This way when he has to go thru our stuff he wont be like "why do my parents have so much useless crap and can I just burn the house down and collect the insurance?"

11 months!

The love of my life is 11 months today. Im busy planning his 1st birthday right now and it blows my mind because last year at this time I was busy anticipating his arrival. I just made out all his invitations and hopefully family will be able to make it to scare the crap out of him. Poor kid, with living so far away he doesnt know anyone. Thankfully he wont have any memory of this.

But there will be photos. Oh the photos....

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Thats the sound of my excitement when I opened mail from the unemployment office today. Apparently my appeal for the unemployment they denied has called for a phone hearing! Haha! Even if I dont win this I still feel I did. Hey! Remember when you guys didnt give me a raise those years? Remember when co-workers called off all the time every week leaving me to do all that work? Remember when I would toot my own horn in hopes you would say "DUH Erin is the bestest employee!" and then I still got screwed over when you let me go cause (yes Im going to use quotes again) "would do fine without me"? Yeah, Ill talk to you guys about that on the phone with a judge in tow and try not to tell you my smile cracked my face in half.

I really wish I was a fly on the wall in that office with everyone saying "Oh no, how dare Erin request legal action against us!" (those quotes again damn it). I wish I was there to hear them laugh as they read through the paper work and call me names and gasp at how I would do something like that. Its principle people!

Man I hate being screwed over.

Intolerant rant.

Did you ever people watch and sit back and wonder if all those people out there are fake? The seemingly nice mother who buys her child some candy and takes them to the movies but later locks them in a closet cause shes secrectly a insane raging women who shouldnt have had a kid to begin with. How about that nice dog walker, do they enjoy their little walks but go home and watch videos of dog fights on you tube? How about that Christian family who link hands at the grocery store and smile at you but then go home and leave facebook comments on non christian pages saying "You are going to Hell".

These are some examples I have of the fake out there. Id like to think that Ive grown up to be a true to me person. Of course with mistakes along the way. I know Im not perfect, I dont like everyone, and my ideals are probably not like yours. If youre reading this you and I are most likely not a like. If we are, we will never know because those of us that are different are scared to say so. I do know that Im a good person. I help my fellow man and animals. I want to be a good example for my son and I hope he follows suit. I hope he grows up to think for himself, to know that people arent all the same but thats not a bad thing. To not solicit his ideals but to compassionate to others[ideals]. I hope hes smart enough to see both sides and see that he isnt always right. I hope he can get along with all types of people like we do. That hes sees the good in those different them him and still can hang out, be friends and have intelligent open minded conversations with people.

I say this because there a few things in my life right now that I see is a bit unfair. Intolerance. HOW I HATE intolerance. You may say im intolerant of those who arent tolerant. This makes me rage more then anything. Race, sexual orientation, religious choices. People have their own views and choices. Otherwise how could I write about this? This is my view. Im sad my son still has to grow up in a world where people are still intolerant.

We can only lead by example and I sure hope Calvin grows up to be a good man. No matter what he eats, feels, and says. No matter who he marries, befriends or works for. I hope he knows that not everyone will like him, listen to him, be his friend or be nice to him. Most of all I hope that he knows whats in his heart to be true.

**This post has been edited due to information that at a later date, has been found to be wrong therefore making parts of the blog false and those parts have been deleted.

Mother's instinct

My first mothers day was today. I didnt sleep in, I didnt lock myself in the bedroom claiming "Its MY day!", I didnt save all the poop diapers for dad. My son is what it means to be a Mom. Why would I want to be away from the little one who gives me that title?



Today was a great day. Calvin via Mike bought me a very pretty mothers necklace. Sometimes it still hasnt hit me that I joined the mom club. The best club Ive ever been in. I feel like I always had a membership, It was just waiting to be activated.

Sunny with a side of orange.

I dont tan. Not meaning my body isn't able to tan, I mean I completely stay out of the sun. I don't tan, I don't leave home with out covering up and using sunscreen, and I also make sure Calvin is wearing proper clothing and a hat.

ALWAYS.

Having skin cancer removed and then having to go to the dermatologist every 6 months is not fun. Its scary and even more so when you have had family members die from various cancers including melanoma. In this day, with all the warnings (like with SMOKING. For the love of mother nature put down the dirty dirty cigarette!!!) I dont understand why people still love the sun. I get that tanning looks good. I tanned every single day in a tanning bed 4 years ago during the summer. It helps to hide flaws and the overall look is beachy and healthy. Surprise! Because of that summer of regret I have had 3 cases of skin cancer removed.

I miss being tan though.

I did the spray tan thing though a few years back. Thats a lot of upkeep and smells funny after awhile. I was thinking of doing that again this year because like I said, I miss being tan. So I bought some self tanner lotion. Now I can wrestle every day to reach parts of my body I cant even see while trying to make sure I keep it "au naturale" and streak free. All so I can try and look less like a dead mom walking.

Cant WAIT to look like this again!

You've been DENIED

I'm pretty sure I was let go by my company those weeks ago. In fact I'm more then sure. When they tell you "Its been nice, you've done a great job but we think we will get by with out you just fine and wont need you past this Thursday...." that means I got the ax. I wouldn't have posted that entire blog [rant] complaining about how those bastards couldn't let me leave on my own if I didn't feel I was given the "we are closed" sign. Like they were too above me to let me have my 15 minutes of in-your-face-take-that-I'M-leaving-YOU glory. I filed for unemployment just because, you know, I HAVE NO JOB now. Its not big bucks this unemployment. Then again, I wasn't making big bucks (or little bucks even)but any little bit would help out. Now when I first signed up for unemployment they said it would take three weeks to get things rolling. I have to file a claim every week and make sure I apply to at least two jobs weekly. So Ive been doing just that. I mean, when you've worked somewhere for 4 years, never had a position upgrade or change, made a 4% raise that gave me a extra, WAIT FOR IT, 42 cents!!! I kinda figured the 200 bucks a week I was entitled for from unemployment was cheap for my company seeing how they were down a paycheck payment from FIRING ME!

Surprise when I logged into my unemployment to find I had a "you've been DENIED!" determination. Yeah no surprise they would be bastards one more time. This is what was said:

An issue concerning the claimant's voluntary separation/buyout, affecting benefits beginning on 03/01/2010, was adjudicated as follows. The claimant quit employment with **Company name withheld***. under a voluntary separation plan. There is no evidence that the work was no longer suitable or that the claimant would otherwise have been involuntarily separated had he/she not accepted the separation package. The legal standard under Ohio law that determines whether a quit is without just cause is whether the claimant acted as an ordinary person would have under similar
circumstances. A review of the facts establishes that claimant quit without just cause under Section 4141.29(D)(2), Ohio Revised Code. Therefore, no benefits will be paid until the claimant obtains employment subject to an unemployment compensation law, works six weeks, earns wages of $1278,and is otherwise eligible.

SOOOO this states that I said adios all by myself like I wanted to but never got the chance to do so. That I took a separation package, a buy out and all and all I LEFT ON MY OWN. No such thing happened. WHAT PACKAGE AND BUY OUT **company name with held**??? WHAT PACKAGE???? There was no separation package. There was no buy out. Where they thinking that when they first wanted to tell me my last day was upon me they were giving me some time to prepare and that was my package? Because if so they failed to tell me ahead of time cause they forgot, or the weather was too bad or THEY FORGOT to tell me until I heard rumors and had to confront the boss. There was no separation package. Just separation.

I read that and was so livid my eyes watered. Now I always was irritated with my job. Everyone is at some point I'm sure. They feel that some time in employment things are unfair. I pretty much lived that every day. I always figured that I would get another job eventually and be able to skip out on them with a huge smile on my face. Since I didn't get to do that filing for unemployment was my smile. When they denied me I immediately filed an appeal. When I become livid I usually type things that makes sounds like a T-Rex coming through your door. I always have to hit the delete button a bunch of times until I come back down to my level and clear my head. So of course after typing "you cheap bastards how dare you deny me after all the shit I did for you!! Pay me what is due now or I will drive there and throw crap all over your stupid building and slander your company to all of your clients". I became level headed again and wrote the following:

Erin Reiter had not put in any formal voluntary separation to **Company name withheld**. There was no verbal or formal written statement of a separation date of if/when Erin Reiter may be leaving**Company name withheld**. **Company name withheld** exact words were " We will be fine with out you and will not be needing you past this Thursday ¬February 25th 2010|." Erin Reiter still needed employment as of February 25th 2010 and did not put any notice that she would need to terminate employment as of February 25th 2010.

I appealed with that because that is EXACTLY what had happened. They had till April 6th to reply to that. Today is the 11th and I still haven't heard anything back. So either the unemployment people are slow at getting stuff back out (which I doubt because they actually been on the ball with stuff lately) or my old company didnt reply. I hope my company read my appeal and was like "oh RIGHT, we screwed her over" and will have to pay out. If I get another determination I will appeal again. Hopefully they are smart and will just give in. Otherwise they will keep hearing from me every single time.

I'm a stay at home mom now, I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. Try me **Company name withheld**. I dare you.

Stella & Dot

This past weekend I went to a Stella & Dot Party. I never heard of Stella & Dot before so I decided to go online and check out some stuff. They have really awesome jewelry thats funky/chunky and all full of summery colors. I wanted everything. The thing is, where would I wear it? Calvin isnt going to go "Hey Mom, nice teal sea shell necklace it looks awesome with your juicy couture track suit!!". He will just want to grab it and eat it. So I opted on a simple teal strand that you can either wear as a necklace or bracelet. I added a "C" charm for calvin and his birthstone which is a Ruby.



Because being with my son 24/7 isnt enough. I have to wear homage to him all the time too. I LOVE IT!!!

Week 3

This week marks the 3rd week of my SAHM adventure. I now wonder how I didnt decide to do this sooner.

I do NOT miss getting up and shoving myself into something that wasnt a track suit to drive half an hour in amusement park ride traffic and arrive at my office always 10 minutes late. I dont miss plunking my purse and lunch bag down at my desk as I heave this huge sigh knowing I would have 32 emails waiting for me (some of which I would not understand because there would an abundance of spelling/grammar/punctuation issues.) I dont miss wondering if some of my coworkers would call off for the millionth time that year due to some sort of never-heard-before-but-I-have-it illness that will leave me stranded to do twice as much work that I wont have time for. I dont miss watching the clock, waiting to get my ass out the door.

Cals a pretty easy going boss. As long as play roll the ball with him Im rewarded with tons of baby kisses.

Best. Job. Ever.

Take some time to enjoy the view.

One of the selling points of our house was the amazing view it has over our part of Ohio. We always would say how we hated driving through Ohio back home to NY because it was a lot flatter and had no personality. Since we live up on this huge hill I retract my statement that Ohio is flat (Im still working on the personality part. Im not fully ready to accept we live in this state even though we have been here like 6 or 7 years).

Beyond the fire chiefs house you can see the 8am sunrise. Absolutely beautiful and Im so lucky to say I see this every single day.

The little things

Tomorrow March 13th will be the 15th anniversary of my mothers death. 15 years have come and gone and while Id like to say it went by fast, it really didnt. A lot has gone on in my life since then and all of which she missed. Now that I am a mother, I can see how hard it mustve been that year and half she was sick to know that she may not be here for her kids. Thinking that I too may be taken from Calvin at such a young age ( I was 12, my brother was 8) drives me to tears and I have to force myself from thinking about that. I see Calvin and I cant imagine that situation for him and I hope he never has to go through that.

Right now I wake up everyday with the intention of being the best possible mom I can be. I NEVER take anything Calvin does for granted nor my time with him. I have memories of my mother taking us to the park, looking in the clouds for the ones shaped like butterflies, her sitting on the porch with fresh watermelon, warm brownies or a new polly pocket set or "Calvin and Hobbes" book waiting for me when I got home from school on my bed. I remember her being THAT mom, the one that took my class to Marine Land and bought everyone a sea shell to take home from the gift shop. The mom that would wrap my birthday gifts individually and then put them in a big box and wrap that so Id have mounds of things to unwrap. The mom who played trouble with us in her hospital bed even though she was very weak from Chemo. Becoming a mother was very important to me. I want to instill in my child what my mother did in the short time that I had her. I know that as a mother, I am one of the two most important people in his life and that I want him to know that every second of every day I love him and no matter what I always will.

My father stopped by my grandparents house when we were over there last week with a box. In it was my big bird cookie jar! My mother made it for me back in 1985 and now it resides on my counter top. Of all the material things I have in my life, this one is on the top of the list.

Its amazing how in the end, its always the little things that are worth having.

On the bottom she inscribed "to Erin from Mommy"

Your new golfing buddy.

It was 63 degrees today and I decided it would be a wonderful day to take Calvin to the outlets with me. I wanted to make a stop and pick up some jeans (hello Michael Kors!) and some Pj's for gigantic child. Im tired of cutting the feet out of his current ones. I got Calvin all dressed in proper spring attire and a lovely hat to keep the sun away from him and he was good to go.

I wonder if he will compare pictures in 80 years and they will look EXACTLY the same.

MUST BE NICE!

Mikes in Orlando this week for work. Must be nice to work for a company that pays for you to spend a week at Disney World. Grant it he will be in class most of the day but still its FlORIDA!

Enjoy the view honey. You lucky lucky man.

A Baby in Buffalo

My niece turned one on February 20th. One folks, ONE! I remember the 3am phone call from my brother that his "little girl was finally here". I remember saying "congrats!" and then that was it. It was 3am, and I was out of it. After, I remembered I shouldve asked how much she weighed and how long she was and if she had a third eye (shes perfect, all symmetrical. No third eye). Now shes walking and saying "look, eeee, baby". So fast they grow up.

My brother and sister in-law had a nice big birthday party for her and since shes my favorite little girl I made sure I would be there for it. This meant that I would have to make the 6.5 hr trek back home to Buffalo. Mike wasnt able to go (someone has to work around here and it sure isnt going to be me! A womens place is in the home. IN. THE. HOME!)and that meant I would be making the trip home with the baby alone. Not too bad really. Calvins been on a few trips home and hes pretty good at letting me know when hes hungry so I figured I could do it.

First, I had to pack. Apparently for a 5 day trip with a baby I need a months worth of crap.


Calvin was cake on this trip even though it exceeded its 6.5 hr drive to 7.5hrs due to HORRIBLE winter weather. Who wouldve thought that in February it would sleet/snow/slush AND have people in ditches my entire way up? Calvin didnt notice a thing.


We stayed at my brothers (with my sister in-law, my nephew and niece). Needless to say Calvin was very happy to have constant entertainment and NEVER ENDING array of toys. If toys do come to life when we sleep, they have an entire army in their house. Calvin and McKenzie played so nice next to each other.



Now I may be bias and all but Im pretty sure my niece is the cutest little girl. Ever. She has these two little bottom teeth and cute little dimples. Shes also very spoiled. AWW POOR GIRL


Calvin and I did a lot of running around when we went home. We had many dates with family and even though we tried to see everyone we managed to miss some too. There never is enough time and my energy was in the gutter by the second day anyways so sorry family, next time I promise! We did manage to see my grandparents on my moms side. That was nice and a bit retro. Calvin hung out in my high chair from 1982 (seriously) staring out the same window I did while also getting the joy of uncrossing your eyes at those same curtains my eyes have watered at too. SERIOUSLY.


Buffalo trips are always exhausting but fulfilling. It keeps us grounded to where we came from. I always leave feeling bittersweet. Happy to be heading home to my cats and my bed (and this case my hubby too)but also sad to be leaving family and food and DECENT DRIVERS. It was time though. My brother and sister in-law were so gracious to let us stay at their place but Im pretty sure we were THIS close to seeing a ugg up the butt as we packed the car. Calvin was ready to go home too.

Like I said, trips are EXHAUSTING.

FREE AT LAST!!

I always thought of myself as a career woman. Someone who needed adult conversation to function. So when I got pregnant last year I figured I would work till I gave birth, go on maternity leave for 8 weeks and return to the desk. I always have been a dedicated worker and I did work till I just about gave birth. In fact my doctor had to write me off of work at 38 weeks because she thought it was insane that I was still up and at it 12hrs a day. I sat in front of a computer all day, so being insanely pregnant and working wasnt too bad. It kept me out of the baby stores and Ikea.

Once I had Calvin, my thinking changed.

I went back to work after 8 weeks. We didnt do the traditional daycare because I have worked in daycare before for a long time. Unless you have compassionate workers there you shouldnt have a problem. Most of the time though, daycares are employeed by 19yr olds trying to get through college and not really paying great attention to other peoples children. Sorry, but its true. Now some people love daycare and I dont knock it, I just wanted to go a different route when it came to my son. So we went to all places to look for child care: craigslist. On there we found this amazing woman named Richele. Shes a stay at home mom to two great kids and was looking to watch babies too. Sometimes craigslist can have scary outcomes. In our case it was one of the best decesions we did for our son. Shes has crazy energy, a beautiful family who invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them, a great home environment and children that love my child. Since our family lives 7hrs from us shes our "next of kin" here in Ohio and I really dont know what we would do without her. Everyone who has a kid should also have a Richele. With that being said it also made me want to be like her. I thought, "hey! I could be like her maybe. Maybe stay at home with my son and watch someone elses kid too. Maybe I could be a Richele!".

So the wheels began turning in my head. I really missed my son. Some days it would physically hurt to have to go to work because I would want to be with him. It was a surprise to me because even though I loved him so much to begin with, I never thought how much I could love him. I wanted to stay home. So I started to prepare myself in October to stay home some time after the new year. I enrolled in online classes to get my certification in child development and I also did a lovely 8 hr ALL day infant CPR and first aid class (another class I recommend you take if you have kids). I plan on taking a few more classes too and finish up my degree in it but right now I feel pretty good with being certified.

Oh boy, Im certified to help develop a childs mind. HELP US ALL!!

So roll in the new year. I have a talk with my boss that in a few months I maybe leaving but when I do Ill give my two week notice. I wont leave them hanging. I intend to work through March while I was still preparing to do anything in-home. We are always busy at work and couldve used another person actually to help with all the crap we do daily. My work is a bit stingy when it comes to hiring people so they stretch the work as thinly as possible without giving any raises (OH THAT ECONOMY) or overtime (again, THE ECONOMY!!). I hear through the grapevine that as of this Friday they were looking to give me the AX. Now I dont appreciate that. I worked for this company for 4 years. In these 4 years I had one raise. I feel I worked the job of two people and yet still, nothing. So hearing that makes me rage inside. I came back after my maternity leave. I couldve been that asshole who said "screw you and good luck doing all that work I did" but I didnt. I left my 8 week old son to drive half hour each way to work. Every single day. So I emailed my boss and said "we need to talk". He calls me in Monday at 4:30 and is like "whats up?". I tell him that I hear this and that and I want to know whats going on because Im going out of town this weekend and Im not going to rush home monday to go to work on tuesday and they say "see ya". He told me he meant to tell me last week but they would not need me past thusday. Oh. MEANT to tell me. How nice that they MEANT to tell me. Too bad the weather was bad and he was busy because he forgot to tell me. Awesome. His words were:"we really appreciate what you have done here. How long have you been here? 4 years huh? Really? Well in those few years your numbers have been great and bullshit bullshit bullshit but we will no longer need you. We will be able to get by fine without you. If you werent going to eventually leave we were going to have to downside again anyways"

ECONOMY!

I smile, say "no problem, thanks" and walk out of his office. 4 years and thats what I get. A thank you but we dont need you anymore. I dont even get to go out on my own glory. I wonder, can I file for unemployment?

I worked till today (Thursday). My co-workers were great and got me a we will miss you card and made all kinds of food. These women are great cookers/bakers and Ill miss that along with the laughs and banter. My send off was great. Im VERY excited to stay home with my Monkey. I have no problems answering to a boss whos pants I have to change and who pays me in slobbery kisses. Hes absolutely amazing and everything has worked out perfectly.

I had to work later then everyone else today, known as our late days. We work till 6 once a week to cover the west coast calls (very stupid policy as no one ever calls and it just pisses us off) so I used that time to clean out my desk.

Im a free woman everyone! FREE!!


In Memory of my cube. 2006-2010